Page 10 of A Constant Love

“NOOOOO!”

“Sam! Sam, what the fuck?!”

I opened my eyes, and I was in the bathtub with Tyler’s arms wrapped around me. He was fully clothed, and I had gotten him soaked.

“What happened?” I was still gasping for air.

“I’m guessing you fell asleep in the tub and had another nightmare. I heard you thrashing around and came running.” He was trying to be calm, but I could see the worry in his eyes.

“Yeah…nightmare. This time, it was about my mom,” I lied.

“Shit, Kansas, I’m sorry. Come on, why don’t you get out, and I’ll make us some hot cocoa?”

I smiled and nodded, “That sounds great. Just give me a minute to shave my legs.”

He gave me a small kiss. “Okay, meet me downstairs in five.”

Once he left, I splashed water on my face trying to get the images of my dream out of my head. Another memory had made it back to the surface.

Shit.

Yet again, the ending was a bit different in reality. James was sweet that night after we first made love. He held me in his arms and told me how special I was to him. It wasn’t until we had been having sex regularly that he began to show his true colors.

I didn’t know if I would ever understand how sex could turn a person into such an absolute monster. But I also wasn’t naïve enough to think that it was just the sex. No, it was something dark and sinister that lived inside of him.

I always thought maybe it had come from his father. Even though he was the mayor, people always pegged him for being someone with skeletons in his closet. Everyone always pretended not to notice when his wife would show up at events wearing far too much makeup to cover up the damage he had done the night before.

No one talked about that though…at least not in anything aside from the hushed whispers of gossip that spread through the town.

Those same whispers that wondered if I would end up crazy like my mama. The same whispers that assumed after my assault that I was a slut who liked to be gangbanged. The same whispers that eventually ran me out of town.

But ultimately, those whispers that made me run, sent me running into the arms of the man I love.

The man I was also lying to.

The man I prayed could, one day, forgive me.

Chapter 8 – Tyler

A couple weeks passed, and Sam was beginning to worry me. Although, she walked around with her usual seemingly happy demeanor, I could tell that underneath she wasn’t alright.

Yes, she still went to class and did her tutoring job…even made time for us to watch a movie or play a game together every night. But it was like she was always slightly distracted, like a tiny thought was always stuck in the back of her brain and wouldn’t give her any peace.

Her nightmares were starting to become more and more frequent, and she still didn’t want to talk to me about a single one of them. That night in the bathtub, she told me her dream was about her mom, but I knew better. The sheer terror in her eyes told me she was reliving the awfulness that James had brought upon her.

I didn’t call her out on it though, knowing that calling her a liar would get me nowhere. Instead, I would just wake her from the bad dream, hold her close, and be there as much as she’d let me.

And it seemed like every time she wanted to avoid talking about anything remotely personal, her libido would kick into overdrive, and she’d be all over me. Mind you, I wasn’t complaining about the sex…it was always mind blowing, but I worried it wasn’t the healthiest of coping mechanisms.

The dreams seemed to have started after the FBI agent told her they still didn’t have any information about James or his whereabouts. When I asked her if she had gotten any more texts from James from a burner number, she said no. Knowing she didn’t want to upset me though, I questioned how true that was.

I wanted to do something to make her smile, something to get her mind off of her worries. Sam’s busy schedule lately had made planning something nearly impossible, but I managed to get her to agree to take a break over President’s Day weekend.

Maybe a long weekend away would help her to unwind a little. I was bound and determined to do anything and everything to make it a trip she would never forget.

In an attempt to get Sam to let me into her world a little more, I decided to take her back to where I grew up and open up a little about my past. Maybe seeing me a little open and vulnerable would convince her to do the same.

Due to a last-minute tutoring appointment she had scheduled for Friday evening, we weren’t able to get on the road until Saturday morning.