Page 24 of A Constant Love
He looked taken aback. “Really? You’ll go?”
“Yes, I said I’d go. I’ll go.”
Before I could even finish getting the words out, he wrapped me in a hug and spun me around while kissing me a dozen times.
“Thank you, baby,” he whispered.
“No, thank you…for looking out for me,” I said before returning his kiss.
“And I did finally see your apology text last night. I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have gotten upset with you like that. If it makes you feel better to pay rent to live here, then by all means, pay rent. But if you ever don’t want to or can’t, don’t feel obligated.”
I nodded, knowing fully well I was still going to find a way to pay it every month.
“How’s your head feeling, Kansas?” He said while planting a soft kiss on my forehead.
“Hurts like a bitch.”
“Come on, let’s go back to bed.”
Chapter 16 – Sam
Three weeks later, on a Friday evening, I was sitting in the waiting room at my new therapist’s office. It was my third visit so far, and we were getting absolutely nowhere.
On my list of things I actually wanted to do, seeing a shrink was nowhere to be found. But my nightmares were getting worse, and I was still drinking more than I should. I thought maybe this doc actually could help me out a little…without me telling her the full story. But aside from some small talk, we had sat in stone cold silence. I knew she was waiting for me to begin the conversation, but I could never quite take that first step.
I had convinced Gabe to wait in the car since this was something I’d rather do alone. The thought to run out the back door of the building had occurred to me every time I sat in the waiting room, but I kept myself firmly planted in the seat yet again.
When the doctor came out to get me, I followed her into her office which had the typical couch and chairs you would find in a therapist’s office. I always opted for a chair.
“Good evening, Miss Flemming. How are you doing?”
“I’m okay.”
Her name was Dr. Osaka, and she was a tall lean, Asian woman who always wore a pencil skirt and a nice top. She gestured for me to help myself to the bottles of water sitting on the table in front of me, but I declined.
“So, where do we start this time?” I asked.
“Where would you like to start, Samantha?” Her voice was calming, but almost in an over-nurturing way.
The mention of my full name sent shivers down my spine. She had always called me Miss Flemming in the past. “Honestly, I have no idea. And please call me Sam. I no longer go by Samantha.”
She scribbled something in her book.
“Well, what main issue brought you here today?”
“I have nightmares…about some past trauma.”
“What trauma was that?”
I took a deep breath, not sure if the words were even going to come out of my mouth. “I was raped and beaten by my boyfriend my senior year of high school…after my mom killed herself by overdosing on pain pills.”
Her eyebrows raised ever so slightly, but I caught it.
“Are your nightmares about your mother or your rape?”
“I used to dream about my mom, but lately, it’s been all about him. It will start off as a happy memory and then quickly turn into that night where it all happened.”
She nodded. “Why do you think it’s coming back up now?”