Page 42 of For What It's Worth
For the first time in my life, my heart hadn’t ached at that thought.
I chose to ignore the all-too knowing look from Jen. Instead, I told him to hurry his ass up and get ready, because I was not wearing boxers to breakfast, which meant we had to stop at my dorm room.
Chapter Twenty
Hannah had started talking before I’d even stepped out of Jen’s car. “I already got us seats.”
We’d arrived slightly later than planned, but there had been some unexpected tension Jen had to work through when we stepped into my dorm building and he inhaled all the scents around me. And then there was the big question of what I should’ve worn? Did I dress up for my friend-date or were we going in basically pajamas? I’d wanted to slightly dress up for Jen—and to match his attire. I was glad I did now that I saw Hannah’s outfit.
She wore sparkling fishnet tights and a red and black plaid dress with a fluffy coat draped over her arm. Despite nearing winter, it still wasn’t too cold while standing in the sun. Her outfit was cute and matched the winter aesthetic like she was plucked from a punk magazine photo shoot, rocking out on a guitar in front of a decked-out Christmas tree.
My own outfit was made of dark blue flare pants with white dots that looked like snowflakes and a white long sleeve shirt. The fabric tightened on my wrists and around the collar, letting the sleeves flow. Originally, I’d wanted to wear a shirt with a deep V, showing off my new claiming mark—or the bandage over the mark, technically—but Jen heavily suggested he preferred for my mark to be exposed when the bandage was off. My key necklace was tucked under my shirt, hidden and occasionally making me wince when it bumped against my bandage.
My alpha’s own outfit was made up of a dark blue shirt with a cream cashmere sweater over it. The buttons were only done up to his stomach to reveal the shirt underneath. His dark tan pants were perfectly form fitting, almost like skinny jeans if the fabric was different, but alas, the thick pants were the perfect mix of flair and hugging. He looked amazing, but that was to be expected for Jen.
“They have heaters set up for the outside seating, and I figured that would be best,” Hannah continued. “You remember Jackson, right?” She motioned to the big alpha behind her, acting like a shadow but very much real.
Wearing a leather jacket and jeans, Jackson looked like he belonged in a motorcycle club, or even on the front of a rebel magazine, smoking a cigarette, with some female between his legs. He and Hannah complemented each other’s styles well.
“Yes, I do. Hi, Jackson.” I tried making eye contact with the other alpha but only made it to his chin before instinctively seeking out my own. It must’ve been my new bond and crazy omega instincts—or maybe it was because Jackson had an air of intimidation around him that frightened me—but I had the sudden feeling of free falling without anyone to catch me. Down and down I tumbled, wanting to back away from the looming alpha in front of me but too scared to move my feet.
“I’m right here, Koda,” my alpha coaxed. He stepped up to my back, pulling me against him so I could inhale his scent. I clung to his forearms, scared he was going to toss me over to the other alpha that didn’t want me. The thoughts weren’t logical, but I couldn’t fight them off or stop my brain from feeding panic into my nervous system. I was seconds away from asking Jen if we could just go home, or maybe if he still wanted me.
A growl I didn’t recognize hit my flight or fight instinct so suddenly my body froze, unsure of what to do. If I had control of all my faculties, I would’ve acknowledged freezing was a terrible response to a not-my-alpha-growl.
Another, more familiar and more violent growl, filled my senses. Despite the blatant hostility coming off Jen, my body relaxed at the sound. A feeling of calmness, of being loved, being protected, washed through me. My senses came back, my nose slammed with a flurry of scents coming from my alpha: aggression, jealousy, frustration.
Looking up at her, I saw my new friend was smiling wide as her alpha kept her pressed tightly into his side. She playfully rolled her eyes, as if the whole scenario had been ridiculous male posturing, and not me on the verge of a panic attack.
“You have to let your jealousy show.” To my surprise, it was Jackson who spoke up, not sounding angry or put out—at least not more than his normal voice sounded perpetually annoyed.
“I know,” Jen half growled. His hand was fisting my ponytail in a move clearly stating he owned me and demanded all my attention. And I fucking loved it. Maybe even too much. I should’ve been embarrassed about the way I was acting in front of Jenson, and my new friend, but I had too many other emotions running rampant to really give in to embarrassment.
My omega side was pleased at the display of dominance. I was concerned about how my omega instincts were affecting my beta side so strongly.
“I don’t know how it works for betas, but bonded omegas need the show of ownership. Need to feel claimed and wanted and shit in the presence of an unfamiliar alpha,” Jackson said, looking at me and ignoring the threatening sound my supposedly poised alpha made. The grip in my hair started loosening, my neck finally able to relax and most surprisingly, my pussy already craving more from Jen.
“I’m sorry, little bear. I’ve seemed to have forgotten my classes on dealing with bonds.” Jen lowered his voice so only I heard him when he added, “Maybe a refresher for all your alphas is in order after…” I knew what Jen was going to say and chose to ignore the comment about how my alphas had only dated betas recently. It made sense Jen would be used to holding himself back in order to make past betas comfortable with their different designations—hopefully nobody would put together the different way Jen acted with me and chalk it up to my preferences or the bond.
Turning my head into his chest, I inhaled his scent, content to find traces of my own scent, even if it was the beta version of me, on his clothes now.
And forever.
Yes, that was calming indeed.
Hannah winked conspiratorially, making me laugh.
With this new information, Jen didn’t let me go. Even though I’d just freaked out, I felt better. Calmer. And that must’ve shown down the bond, because Jen nodded and gestured for me to lead the way.
I followed Hannah, who was smart enough to take us around the side of the building and enter through a little gate to the patio sitting area. There wasn’t anyone else outside, despite the heaters. That realization helped me relax even more.
The moment I sat down, before I’d even scooted my chair in, Hannah said, “So you’ve been claimed. As a beta or an omega?”
Her bluntness shocked me into silence. Looking around, I confirmed no one else was around to hear it. I was sure a passing stranger wouldn’t have cared, but anyone from the academy might’ve. Hell, anyone from a gossip column might just spread the information too, although that was a little generous speaking on my behalf. I doubted I was special enough for anyone to run to social media about. Just because broken omegas weren’t on the daily news didn’t mean there weren’t more out there like me. We just had no way of contacting each other since I wasn’t taking the risk of being outed as an omega.
Leaning closer to Hannah, I whispered, “Beta.”
“I see.” She leaned back, sitting normally, before asking, “Where did he claim you?”