Page 73 of Ice Cold Hearts

“It’s just so nice to have it all settled. It’s so cliché, but it really does feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.” I beam.

“You are terrifyingly beautiful when you smile,” Alexei says, drawing me closer.

I can’t see anyone around, but we’re still out in the open. I know I should stop him or pull away or remind him of our no PDA rule, but right now, I don’t care.

It’s different this time when he kisses me. He still takes charge, claiming my mouth and taking what he wants from me, but there’s a tenderness in it that wasn’t there before.

He’s kissing me like he loves me.

That thought makes me cling to him tighter, twining my body around his like a honeysuckle vine on a chain link fence. I tangle my hands in his hair as our tongues dance.

So this is what home feels like is the last thought I have before a mob of screaming paparazzi and flashing cameras encircle us and crush my joy into dust.

24

IAN

Ican sense something is wrong the minute I hear the door open. Alexei’s footsteps are almost as heavy as they are on the anniversary of his parents’ death. Not even Oliver can break through the walls of his grief that day. I can’t even hear Emily’s footsteps. There’s always the squeak of a sneaker, the slap of a flip-flop, the clack of a heel, or the patter of bare feet on hardwood. She has a heavy, purposeful step. It’s one of the things I love about her. She’s a woman who’s not afraid to take up space.

I can’t hear anything now. There’s no sound of feet, no humming, no rustling of clothing, or even suppressed giggles like when she and Audrey try to sneak up on us. It’s like she’s determined to make herself invisible by not taking up any space at all.

When she comes into the room flanked by Alexei, I’m immediately glad that Audrey is in the kitchen with Oliver having a pre-dinner snack. Emily’s face is tight, her shoulders droop, and her eyes dart around the room anxiously like she’s a prey animal.

“Emily,” I say, standing up. “What happened?”

She bursts into tears and launches herself at me, hitting my chest with an audible thump. It’s not long before my shirt is damp from the force of her sobs.

I meet Alexei’s eyes and raise my brows.

He sighs wearily. “I’ll fill you in later. Just take care of her.”

“Okay.” I nod. “Oh, before you disappear, Audrey’s in the kitchen with Oliver. If you’re up for it, can you keep her in there for a bit so things can settle a little more? If you’re not up for it, can you just pass along the message?”

Alexei grunts and turns away from the steps and heads toward the kitchen. I decide to take that as a yes.

Emily’s knees buckle, and now I’m supporting her full weight. She doesn’t protest when I scoop her into my arms and settle us onto the sofa. Her body trembles so hard I can hear her teeth chattering.

It takes some maneuvering, but I manage to tug a blanket from the back of the couch and tuck it around both of us. Between me and the warmth of the blanket, her shaking slows then stops altogether. She hasn’t stopped crying, but it’s more like a spring drizzle than a torrential downpour.

“Audrey, wait!” Oliver calls.

It’s too late. Audrey bursts into the living room and wedges herself between us. Both of us scoot over to make room for her.

“Mama, did you know that Uncle Oliver gave me some cheese crackers as a snack? And then I got to have some grapes too.” She looks up at Emily and touches one of the tears on her face. “You’re sad. You hungry? You want me to ask Uncle Oliver to bring you some cheese crackers so you feel better? Maybe your belly hurts? I don’t know where the medicines is, though. Or does your belly hurt because you have to” —her voice drops to a whisper— “P. O. O. P?”

Emily gives a hiccupy laugh.

“No, baby, I’m not hungry. I don’t need any medicine, and I don’t need to go to the bathroom. It’s so nice that you’re worried about me, but Mama’s okay.” She sniffles. “You know how sometimes you feel sad in your heart?”

“Like when Princess Fettuccine’s arm got ripped off at the playground?” she asked.

“Yes, just like that.” Emily nods. “But this time, when I was leaving work with Uncle Alexei, there were a lot of people around me and they didn’t give me space for my body.”

“Did you sing the boundaries song that Teacher taught me?” Audrey asks.

Emily shakes her head. “No, but I did ask them to give me some space and they didn’t listen, and that made me sad.”

Audrey nods sagely. “Brittany did that last week at school. I held up my stop sign and she didn’t listen, and I cried too, so I had to get Teacher to help me.”