Page 116 of Dawn of Hope

I am not going to let him win.

The lack of pressure from my dagger at my back gives me a sinkingand lonely feeling. While that dagger has come with a lot of heartache, it also is my reminder of home.

Now it is gone.

Hetook it.

I close my eyes and focus on the noises and feelings that surround me; the rhythmic breathing of the sleeping Voyagers and the heat coming off of Dane as he holds me to his chest. I am not going to let the Castaways turn me against these people, people who are trying to save someone they love.

I won’t let this all distract me from my true goal, finding the cure. I am worried about Fin, but I don’t know what I can do at this point. Weston said he was safe, but can I believe him? Whether or not Weston is lying about Fin’s safety, I have no clue where to find him. Voyagers had been searching this island for years, maybe even decades, and couldn’t find where the Castaways hid themselves away.

What makes me think I can? I need to keep hope that the island knows Fin is worth protecting, and make sure that he doesn’t fall into worse danger.

I close my eyes and let the darkness consume me, hoping I won’t be plagued by nightmares tonight. Just as I am drifting off to sleep, one last thought crosses my mind.

I hadn’t told Dane about Weston.

Again.

CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR

The storm blew over during the night, so we all brought our things back to our bunks the next morning. There doesn’t seem to be much damage to the island or to camp, other than a little more mud and some large puddles.

I volunteer to be the lookout at camp today. I know the best way to get through this is to distract myself with searching, but I feel the need to take a step back and refocus. If I don’t, I easily could find myself in danger or worse, because I didn’t pick up on my surroundings or wasn’t paying attention.

The empty quiet of the camp is calming. It is nice to have some solitude today to just sit with the heaviness. It’s funny to think that this is solitude after I spent every day on the island searching alone, but it is different. Many days I run into another Voyager searching in the same area, but sitting here at camp in the middle of the day, I know no one will be back until late evening.

Dane told me he is going to follow up on some leads for Castaway sightings. He agrees it is as important as ever to find where they live, now that they have Fin.

I check the latch on the platform, making sure it is secure, before I sit and dangle my legs over the side. I gaze over the clearing and the surrounding trees in camp and let out a sigh.

How different my life has become.

I never would have expected to be in this position as I was nearing my birthday and ceremony. That feels like a lifetime away now. So much has happened since then. So much has changed.

This place is becoming part of me, more than Blackwood has ever felt despite my role in the kingdom. These people feel like family. The thought of saying goodbye to all of it and returning to my cold and lonely life in Blackwood, never able to live up to my father’s expectations, makes me want to consider staying.

But I made a promise. I promised my mother I would try for her, and I am. Despite never having known her, it feels like she is with me somehow. Her words settled in my heart and made me believe in hope, and a life that could be. I want the chance to know her, to talk to her. I want the chance to hopefully have a parent who cares about me and who I am, who is proud of me and believes in me and what I could be for our kingdom.

I am not going to give up on her, and I am not going to give up on that dream for myself, either.

I just wish that I could bring all of them home with me.

There isn’t enough dust for that.

Everything is moot if there isn’t enough dust to get home. With all the chaos of the past few days, Dane and I hadn’t talked about the dust problem. He was going to search through camp for anything from the previous Guardian that might hold an answer. He hasn’t brought it up, so I assume he hasn’t found anything worth mentioning.

I sigh and fold my arms over the rail.

Even if I find the cure, I may not be able to take it home. If I do, everyone else is closer to being stranded on Dawnlin, and there is nothing I can do to help from Blackwood.

I look around camp to make sure there are no stragglers, or no one came back through the portal. Everything is quiet. I am still alone.

I reach inside my shirt and pull out the map, smoothing it across my lap. I’d marked everything I could, every barrier or trap I had run into. I marked all our landmarks and tried to fill in the paths.

I stare, willing clues to jump out at me.

There has to be something I am missing.