Page 20 of Dawn of Hope

He smiles and I feel a flutter deep in my stomach.

Easy, Lennox. You don’t even know this man.

“I’m Dane.” He stands and extends his empty hand toward me. I reach out cautiously and shake it. That is what a normal person would do, right? Not be hesitant to touch someone who is being polite and offering their hand?

“Very nice to meet you, Dane.” He pulls me up to stand in front of him, and I quickly withdraw my hand from his and take another step back. It’s not a good idea to get too involved with anyone in the city, or someone may find out who I am. I can’t take that risk, especially because I need to find an answer as soon as possible. I can’t have any distractions. Maybe someday, after my mother is healed and I convince my father that I need to be involved with the people, I can find him again. Maybe then we can be friends.

But for now, he was kind after nearly plowing me over, so I can at least be cordial.

“And you are?”

I process his words. Again, something I didn’t plan for. Why the fuck didn’t I think I needed to come up with an identity? I shouldn’t have rushed this. My emotions got the better of me, and just like Brynne always tells me, I can’t strike with too much emotion. The same logic applies here.

“Oh, um,” I stammer. I blurt out the first name that comes to mind, saying a small prayer that the one girl with this name who works in the castle isn’t well known outside of it. “I’m Addy.”

“Nice to meet you, Addy.” Dane stares at me, waiting for a response, but my mind is blank. I don’t know what to say. Silence hangs between us, neither of us moving, and I shift my weight back and forth on my feet uncomfortably. Is it obvious that I’ve never done this before? Never met someone new or even had to introduce myself?

Dane breaks the silence first. “Can I set these somewhere for you?” He lifts the books slightly, the motion drawing my attention to his arms. His tunic is tight over his chest and shoulders, and I can see the outline of muscle down his arms. I could tell he was strong from the way he held me steady, but now it was glaringly obvious.

And distracting.

Are you sure he’s not a guard?

I don’t recognize him at all, despite his body looking like he spends hours training in the rings like Brynne and the others. Maybe he works in the mills felling logs? Or maybe a blacksmith?

“Yes, thank you.” I sneak a quick glance down at the hand that isn’t occupied, still holding up my stack of books. There are definitely some calluses, but he seems too clean to be working outside all day. If he is a guard, he hasn’t recognized me…yet.

“I think all the tables are full, but you are welcome to share mine.” He gestures behind him with the stack, as if he read my mind.

“Oh, I don’t want to take up your space?—”

“It’s no problem at all.” He starts toward the table, and I follow closely behind him. The surface is already piled with a stack of books, and beside it, some parchment and vials of ink. After pushing some rogue papers out of the way, he sets my stack on the opposite end of the table and pulls the chair out for me.

“Thank you,” I murmur as I sit. I scoot my chair closer to the table and feel it lighten underneath me. Glancing over my shoulder, I see Dane’s large hands gripping the edges of my seat and helping me in.

I turn away quickly so he doesn’t see the heat rise in my cheeks. Who is this man and why is he being so kind to me? Are all men outside the castle like this?

It’s sad that my mind is immediately skeptical, believing he must have nefarious motivations, but I don’t have a choice. It has been ingrained in me to assess the motivations of everyone I encounter. My position as future queen demands it. But is he just being kind?

I grab the book off the top of the stack, flipping to the table of contents and scanning the titles until I find one that I think might be useful. I hear Dane pull out his chair and sit on the other side of the table as I flip to the correct page.

It takes all of my willpower not to glance up at him. It’s hard for me to believe that he can’t see desire and curiosity all over my face. Dane is different from any man I’ve ever seen. His clothes look comfortable and warm, not like the cold royal outfits I am used to seeing guards wear. His face is rugged and intense, and he looks like he spends a lot of time working with his hands.

I push away the images that flash before my eyes of things he could do with his strong hands, things I’d only ever read about.

Gods Lennox, you just met this man. Control yourself.

I shift in my seat, crossing my legs, and try to focus back on the pages in front of me. There is no time to be thinking about a man I will probably never see again, especially when my mother’s life is on the line. There are more important things than wondering what he does for a living, or why he is here in the library instead of home, with his family or wife.

Of course he has a wife. Look at him.

But more than the fact that he is extremely good looking, he is the only person outside of the castle that has spoken to me and was kind to me. I am not counting the helpful woman at the front desk. Such a simple act has shaken me so much that I am having trouble accomplishing what I came here for, focusing more on trying to avoid glancing across the table at him. While others would have brushed such a short and simple interaction off, it feels like a monumental shift in my life, like the axis of my world has tilted to the side and is shaking everything up.

I am outside of the castle for the first time in my life, talking to a man that I’ve never met, and no one knows.

I shouldn’t be making friends. I should be focusing on finding something to help my mother.

I look toward the front of the library at the stained-glass windows on either side of the door. Still light, I haven’t lost too much time to distraction.