Page 24 of Dawn of Hope
“I’ve lived here my whole life, but I don’t get out much.”
“What made you come out tonight?”
I think back to the lie I told the librarian. I don’t know how well Dane knows her, so I need to stay consistent. “I want to become a healer, so I’ve been working to build my knowledge. I’ve read mostly everything in the castle over my years working there, so I decided to see if there was anything more before I pursue it.”
“Sounds like you’ll make a great healer if you are willing to seek out more knowledge like that. A lot of them seem to be very stuck in their ways, at least the ones that I’ve interacted with.”
“Thank you,” I murmur. I don’t disagree with him. After overhearing the conversation with the castle healer and my father, I couldn’t help but feel that they weren’t seeking out any new information. They gave up and told him it was time to let go.
I don’t want to accept that, not after the gift Edmond gave me.
I try to turn the conversation away from me. “What about you? What brings you to the library?”
“I’m doing some healing research as well.” I see him sneak a glance at me out of the corner of my eye, but keep my eyes trained on the road before us. “There aren’t normally many people in that section of the library, so I wasn’t expecting you to come around the corner. I apologize again for bumping into you. You seemed startled.”
“I was startled,” I chuckle, glancing over at him. “Look at you. You basically plowed me over.”
His head falls back with a loud laugh, the sound infectious andbringing a smile to my face. “At least neither you nor the books were damaged in the process.”
“We were not. Luckily for you.” I smirk up at him and make eye contact briefly but turn away. What felt like a long walk to the library is flying by on the way home, probably from the distraction of his arm still wrapped in mine. I can already see the stone of the castle walls just ahead, and the guards in front of the gate I came through earlier.
I break my hold and pull away from Dane’s arm, reaching up to pull the hood down farther over my face. I don’t want to risk getting too close and having someone recognize me.
“Thank you for walking me home. I very much appreciate it,” I say. “I don’t want to keep you too long from your sister.”
“Yes, I should be getting back to her. I hope to see you again Addy.” He grins at me, and I feel something in my chest clench.
He wants to see me again. How has this night turned from the most intense and nerve-wracking to the most exciting night of my life?
“I will try to come in the evenings after work, but it depends. Hopefully I will see you again too.” I give him a small curtsey and turn toward the castle, walking quickly with my head down so I don’t catch anyone’s eye.
“Evening miss. Glad to see you had someone escort you back,” the guard says as he unlatches the lock on the gate.
“Yes, it was very kind of him,” I reply.
“Have a good night, miss,” he says with a nod. I curtsey before heading straight for the kitchen. The castle is quiet now, and I weave through the stairs and halls without running into another person before finally making it back to my rooms.
This almost feels too easy. Has leaving been this easy the entire time? Have I been so groomed to listen to what I was told and never try to do anything for myself that I sat locked in this castle when it was so easy to leave? Had all this suffering and isolation not actually been at the hands of my father, but my doing, because I was not strong enough to stand up and do something for myself?
That will not be me any longer. I am going to do what I want now. No one had noticed I was gone, so there would be no one to stop me. I will go out again, and I will find what I’m looking for.
Who knows, maybe I’ll even find who I’ve been looking for, too.
CHAPTER TEN
Ihave left the castle and gone to the library almost every day this week, and not one person has noticed.
On the days I did not train with Brynne, I spent the evenings pouring through pages of texts. I paid extra attention to the time, ensuring I did not stay as late as the first night because I didn’t have anyone to walk me home.
Dane hadn’t shown up at all.
I was kidding myself if I said I hadn’t expected he would. He said he hoped to see me, so why was he the one who didn’t show?
Estelle, the woman who works at the front desk, grew to recognize and expect me in the evenings. Both she and Agnes became more and more friendly, suggesting different volumes to help me with my studies. They didn’t know I was looking for something in particular and everything they suggested was nowhere near as specific as I needed, but I thanked them anyway.
Despite all of my effort, I am still coming up empty-handed.
And it is extremely frustrating.