Page 42 of Dawn of Hope
Is that a glimmer in his eye? The darkness of the hallway makes it difficult to tell, but from years of knowing him, it just seems like he is up to something.
“Sometimes we learn things at the right times in our lives. Maybe this was just the right time.”
His answer isn’t satisfying, but I don’t think I am getting any more of an explanation than that, but I push anyway.
“I wanted to read the story, and I found a book that contained it, but it was short and mainly pictures. How is anyone supposed to know how to find the Guardian if there aren’t directions?”
“I wasn’t aware that we had any books in the castle that contained the story of Dawnlin.” He stares at me pointedly, ignoring my question.
Fuck.
He caught me again. I should have remembered he knows everything about the books in the castle and chose my words better. Instead, I may have just confirmed any suspicion he had of my evening activities.
I roll my lips together and stay quiet. Even if he figures it out, I will not make it easy by admitting anything to him.
He tilts his head, and his eyebrows draw closer together. “For someone who did not like the story when she first heard it, you seem to have taken an interest. May I ask why?”
I shrug. “I don’t know. I just thought maybe it was important.”
He nods. “My understanding is, anyone who has heard the story, or seen the written version, has all the information needed to seek out Dawnlin and the Guardian. I believe if one truly wants to find it, trusts oneself, and has hope, it will be revealed to them.”
“But what if I can’t?” I ask, my voice barely a whisper.
Edmond’s face softens, transporting me back to my childhood when he would teach me even the simplest of life lessons.
“I have worked with you since you were a child. I have seen you read through an entire library, decipher complex puzzles, understand political theories, process the knowledge of healing, and develop physical strength in addition to all of your many other qualities. I have no doubt someone of your skills and knowledge would be able to solve this puzzle if you only believe in yourself, and believe in the magic.”
My chest tightens at his praise, and I feel a bolt of confidence shoot through me. Edmond is right. I keep wavering between fear of failure and determination to prove myself, and I need to stop. I have the skills. I have been trained. Despite what my father said only minutes ago, I am ready, and I am going to prove it by defying all of their beliefs and bringing back the queen of Blackwood.
“Thank you, Edmond,” I say, fighting against the tightness in my throat.
“Now, do be careful. I hear thekitchensare quite busy tonight. It seems that most of the visitors to the kingdom are still celebrating your birthday, even if it wasn’t within the castle walls.” He winks and turns his back on me, making his way down the hallway.
Edmond knows.
I’m not sure how long, but he knows what I am doing. Has he been behind this all along, giving me her journal, dropping this story of Dawnlin, all to get me to think about it for weeks? Was he secretly encouraging me to pursue it?
“Oh, and Lennox?” He pauses, his hand on the corner of the stone wall. “One must not forget. Light always finds a way?—”
“Even through the blackest woods,” I finish his statement, for the first time really feeling the words sink in.
He smiles softly and disappears around the corner.
I doubted the story before, feeling like the idea of holding onto hope was unrealistic and eventually harmful. But hadn’t Edmond been teaching me about hope for far longer than I’d known this story? Light will always find a way…having hope in dark times will get me through them. I was so quick to discount the story of Dawnlin, and the lesson of having hope, yet I had been taught to have hope for as long as I can remember.
I pull my hood farther over my head and drape it low over my eyes. I check one more time to ensure my hair is still pulled out of sight before stepping into the kitchen. I grabbed a bread roll and some cheese from the nearest counter and place them in my cloak pocket before heading out the door into the darkness of night.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
The guards at the gate barely pay me any mind as I stroll through. They are busy laughing and passing around a flask, acknowledging me only enough to unlatch the lock. The celebrating Edmond warned me about wasn’t just outside in the city. I welcome the distraction, especially since I didn’t disguise myself as much as I usually do.
Brynne was right. The streets are full of people and laughter. Singing and chatter spill onto the streets from tavern windows. Everyone seems soalive. This celebration and this day are important for me, but I didn’t realize they are also important to all of them. The kingdom is still celebrating me, even though they don’t know me.
Or maybe it is just an excuse to get drunk.
I keep my head down, weaving through bodies that crowd the roads and start down the most direct route to the library. I stay alert, scanning the faces for Dane while still trying to keep my face in the shadows of my hood.
I haven’t seen him by the time I reach the library. I climb the stairs quickly, and as I reach the top, my hope falters. It looks completely deserted. I grab the handle and try the door, only to find it locked.