Page 52 of The Plus-One Deal

“Then there’s no excuse. He’s being an asshat. What you need to do right now is storm his castle.”

I laughed in spite of myself. “Storm his castle?”

“That’s right, march on in, barge into his office. Be like one of those talk shows — you ARE the father. You tried it the nice way. Now fling it in his face.”

I shook my head, chuckling. “I guess I could. But, I don’t know. I don’t want to demand anything.”

“Demandanything? He owes you. And he owes this kid. Didn’t I read somewhere his own father left him? He knows what it means to grow up with no dad. He needs to step up and?—”

“I know that,” I said. I messed with my phone, trying to gather my thoughts. An hour ago, this had been simple: Conrad had ghosted me. Our friendship was over. Now it wasn’t just the two of us, and the stakes were so high. This was a child, and we couldn’t screw up. We couldn’t do this wrong, or our child would lose out.

Sunny touched my arm. “What are you thinking?”

I let out a long sigh, from deep in my gut. “I’m thinkingIhad a father, and he was the worst. Or, no, that’s not fair. He tried. He did. But him and Mom were like ships in the night, avoiding each other, and he’d avoid me. I don’t think he ever wanted a family. I think they got married because they felt like they had to, and it was awkward for everyone, this sad, quiet house.”

“But you said Conrad’s good with kids.”

I nodded. “He is. But he’s been clear since I’ve known him, he doesn’t want a relationship. I thought that might change someday, but it’s been twelve years. If he can’t handle a girlfriend, he can’t handle a family.”

“Maybe,” said Sunny. She sipped her own smoothie. “But you still have to tell him. Let him choose for himself.”

I watched the sunlight play on the fountain, the pigeons pecking for seeds in the grass. Sunny was right. I did have to tell him. But all I could think was, he’d just disappoint me. He’d proven a hundred times he wasn’t a family man. He didn’t have it in him to make room for love. Conrad went all in, and I’d always admired that, but that meant he was basically married to Constel. That wouldn’t change. He couldn’t change who he was.

“Where’d you go?” said Sunny.

I blinked. “Sorry. Daydreaming. Wishing things could be different.”

“Weren’tthey, though?”

I frowned at her. “What?”

“You said in The Bahamas, he was this whole other person, turning his phone off. Watching sunsets. Maybe hedoeswant more, but he’s too scared to grab it. Scared that if he tries, he’ll lose you forever.”

“Hewilllose me forever if he keeps ghosting.” I checked my phone one more time. Nothing from Conrad. But Sunny was right. He had been different. That whole afternoon, exploring the market, he hadn’t sneaked off to check his phone once. I had a couple of times, but not Conrad. He’d devoted that day to me. Made room in his life. One day wasn’t much, but had it been a start? Had he been testing the waters, maybe thinking of more?

“Just go up and talk to him.” Sunny squeezed my shoulder. “Tell him your news, and maybe he’ll surprise you. Maybe this is the kick in the ass he’s been needing.”

I pictured myself kicking him in the ass. That made me giggle, and I stood up. “All right.”

“I didn’t mean right now. You could wait, plan your speech.”

“No. I don’t need a speech. I just need to do this.”

“Wait, no, come here.” Sunny pulled me toward her. She fluffed up my hair and straightened my collar, then went into my purse and pulled out my lip gloss. I stood there and let her put it on for me, and dab my eyes clean where my mascara had run. Then she stood back and smiled. “There. Now you’re gorgeous.”

“Thanks. You’re a friend.”

We hugged and I left her there, not pausing to think. If I overthought this, I’d lose my nerve, so I hopped the first cab I saw and headed to Constel. The man on reception tried to ask me my business, but I swept straight past him and onto the elevator, following some tech guy who’d just swiped his card.

“Press for forty,” I said.

“I don’t think, uh… sure.” He swallowed, then pressed. We glided up. The tech guy got off at the twenty-eighth floor. I strode off on forty, then stood looking around. I’d been up here before, at the big Constel party, but I couldn’t remember which way to go. Then I heard Conrad’s voice down the hall, and I turned toward it, andthis was it. I was doing it. A hot flush ran through me, then a shiver of dread. I almost turned back, and then I saw him.

He was standing in his office at the end of the hall, looking out on the city, talking on his phone. I stopped walking and watched him, the tilt of his head. The slump of his shoulders as he hung up. He sighed to himself and glanced at his phone screen, then shook his head. Was he looking atmytexts?

“Conrad,” I said.

He grunted, surprised. Turned to face me, composing himself.