Page 56 of The Plus-One Deal

“Actually, about that…” I drew a deep breath. Lying was bad for me, for the baby, the stress of remembering a million details. The fear, ever-present, the truth would slip out. But telling the truth felt like saying goodbye. Like letting Conrad go, and all my dreams for us. I had to do it, but my heart still ached.

“Oh, no!” Verity’s hand flew up to her mouth. “Don’t tell me you’re fighting! Did something happen?”

I shook my head. “It isn’t like that. We just, Conrad and I, we’re not?—”

Verity’s face lit up. “There he is now!”

I turned to look, thinking she meant Ken. But it was Conrad barging through the crowd, his face a grim mask of determination. Our eyes met and he slowed, and his features softened. My heart leaped, then sank. I didn’t want this. I wanted our lies behind us, not out on display. Conrad being here would just dig us in deeper.

“You don’t have to,” I whispered, as he took my hands.

“I’m sorry I’m late.”

I closed my eyes. I couldn’t do this. I needed the truth out, whatever the cost.

Conrad squeezed my hands. “Claire?”

I turned to Verity. “The truth is, we?—”

“Wait.” Conrad pulled me toward him and shut me up with a kiss. For all that it was our last one, it was still sweet, and I leaned into it. I wanted to remember this and how it felt, Conrad’s light stubble, the heat of his skin. His hands gripping mine like he’d never let go. Long after I’d healed fromthe wounds of our parting, I’d treasure this kiss. This gentle goodbye.

“I’m here,” Conrad said, when he pulled away. “I’m sorry I kept you waiting — more sorry than you’ll know — but I’m here for you now. I’m here for always. For as long as you’ll have me, I’ll be by your side.” His gaze burned into me, hot and intense. He still hadn’t let go of my hands. The way he was holding on, it felt like he couldn’t. Like he wouldn’t, till he knew I wouldn’t flee him. I hitched a rough breath.

“You’re really here?”

“However you need me.”

I searched his eyes for a lie, but I couldn’t find one. All I saw there was warmth and sorrow and need, and brighter than all of that, the spark of hope. Something had changed in him, but how deep? For how long? Would I be a fool to think it could last?

I turned to Verity, summoning laughter. “Looks like my other half made it after all.” Maybe this was a mistake, the worst of my life, but my heart was still Conrad’s. I couldn’t not try.

“I’ll always show up for Claire,” he said. “I thought I’d have to skip this one, but then I thought, no way. We’ve always showed up for each other. That’s what we do. Not just when it’s easy, but every day.”

I felt myself glowing, my pulse picking up. Verity smiled.

“That’s our motto as well, in our marriage. ‘Every day, every way.’ It was right in our vows. I knew you two had it, you know, that strength.” She clasped her hands together to show a strong grip. “I’d better go circulate, but have a great night, okay? And Claire, I’ll be texting to set up that game.”

Conrad watched her flit off. “Game?”

“She wants to play tennis. If you’re really all in.”

“Oh, Claire.” Conrad pulled me to him. He crushed me hard to his chest, like he’d never let go. “I’msoin,” he murmured into my hair. “I’m in for all of it, and we’ll talk when you’re through here. But this is your work, right? You need to go mingle.”

I did, but not right away. Not right this second. I let Conrad hold me, his breath on my cheek.

“We’ll talk after,” he said. “All night if we need to. But Claire, know I mean it. I’m yours. I’m in.”

I didn’t want to let go of him in case he disappeared. In case this was all somehow some kind of dream. But he was right — I had rounds to make. A deal to secure. So I let him go and I circled the room, shook hands and kissed cheeks with Verity’s team. I made myself stay till the crowd started thinning, then I found Conrad and took his hand in mine.

“Let’s go,” I said.

His car was waiting outside and we piled in the back, but tension had sprung up with time to think. I had questions, so many — how would this work? Would Conrad have time to be a good father, or would I be waiting up nights at home? Would our child wait in vain for Dad’s kiss goodnight? We wouldn’t survive that kind of slow heartbreak. It was one thing to sweep in and make a grand gesture, swear he was here for me, kiss me till I believed it. It would be quite another to make that true. Had he even thought about it, or?—

“Don’t panic,” said Conrad.

I shook my head. “I’m not.”

“I can feel your heart racing.” He pulled me against him. “Come on, breathe. We’ll be home in a minute, and we’ll talk this thing through. I promise we’ll do this, whatever it takes.”