Page 34 of Their Wicked Ways
“It’s hard to remember that when you’re lying on the floor and hyperventilating because a light won’t turn on,” he muttered.
“And it’s not your fault you weren’t prepared to live on your own. That’s the fault of the adults in your life,” Ez continued. “You don’t just magically learn all these things when you turn eighteen. You need to be taught how to budget and shop and pay bills. That’s not on you either.”
“I thought I was ready for this.” He leaned back against the couch and let out a heavy sigh. “I mean, I went from dude virgin to getting fucked by a couple and didn’t freak out, but I lose myshit when I think about changing the lightbulb in my oven or making a grocery list? That’s not normal.”
Wait. What?
I caught Ez’s eyes over Jett’s head, and the horror in them mirrored my own.
Jett had never slept with a guy before us?
That meant I’d taken his virginity.
“I’m being stupid.” He sighed again. “Thanks for getting the couch.” He started to stand.
“Wait,” Ez said.
Jett paused. “What?”
“You were a dude virgin that night?” he asked, enunciating his words carefully.
Jett jumped and rushed over to an open box a few feet away. “Yeah.” He rummaged through it, not looking at us. “But it’s not a big deal.”
“It’s not a big deal?” I repeated dumbly.
“No.” He pulled a towel out of the box and held it against his chest like a shield. “It’s not.”
“How can it not be?” I asked, still too shocked to fully process the situation.
“Because it isn’t.” Jett hugged the towel against him, still not meeting our gaze. “Go big or go home, right?”
“That works in sports, but not so much when it comes to the people you sleep with.” Ez’s tone was careful, but I could hear the emotion under it. “You said you went to the club to suck a dick and maybe get yours sucked too. You never planned on fucking anyone, did you?”
He shrugged, still looking into the box.
“Jesus.” Ez jumped up and started pacing behind the couch. “Why didn’t you say something?”
“Why would I?” Jett finally looked up, his expression defiant. “Why is it up to you what I do? If I’d told you, would you have gone through with it?”
“No,” we said in unison.
“And how is that fair to me?” He tossed the towel into the box and crossed his arms. “I have to hand my autonomy over to you because I’d never taken a dick? I’m not allowed to decide what I want to do with my body because you don’t think I did it right?”
“No.” Ez stopped pacing. “But…”
“But what?” He glared at Ez.
“It should have been different for you,” I said softly.
He turned his glare on me. “Why?”
“Because your first time should be special.”
“You think so? My first time with a girl wasn’t special. It was supposed to be, and they promised it would be, but it was awkward and weird and neither of us enjoyed it. I’d rather never have sex again than go throughthatagain. Not everyone has what you do. Not everyone gets the fairy-tale romance and the magical first time. Some of us don’t want that.”
“How many people have you been with?” Ez asked.
“None of your business.” Jett uncrossed his arms and closed the flaps of the box in front of him.