Page 35 of Their Wicked Ways

“How many?” he repeated quietly.

“Three.” Jett didn’t look up. “My ex-wife and you guys.”

“Jesus fucking Christ.” Ez raked his hand through his hair. “You’ve never messed around with another guy? Like at all?”

He shook his head, his shoulders dropping as his defiance melted into defeat. “I wasn’t ready before.”

“What do you mean?” I asked. Something about the way he worded that was setting off alarm bells in my head.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” he mumbled to the floor.

“Does it have anything to do with the way you grew up and hearing things about LGBTQ people?” I asked carefully.

He nodded. “I’ve known I’m bi for a long time, but it took me a while to undo that shit and get to a place where I was ready to explore that side of myself.”

“What happened that night?” Ez asked. “You said something happened and it made you go to the club.”

“My mother sent me a letter after a year of ignoring me.” He finally looked at us.

“What was in it?”

“Just stuff about my siblings.” He kicked the box gently. “I made a snap decision, and I went to the club. Maybe I didn’t go there looking to have sex, but I did. I made a choice.” His eyes filled with something akin to despair. “I knew if I told you I was a virgin, you’d stop, and I didn’t want you to stop. I wanted it. I needed it. I don’t regret it, but it kills me that you do.”

“We don’t regret it,” I said quickly.

“You expect me to believe that after you raged out?” He waved at Ez. “I saw the look in your eyes. You were ready to punch something. Of course you regret it.”

“I wasn’t raging out because I regret it,” Ez said. “I was angry at myself because I was too rough with you. All that shit I said?—”

“So you would have treated me like glass if I’d told you.” He rolled his eyes. “You don’t think that’s maybe part of the reason I didn’t say anything? I don’t need a knight in shining armor to save me from myself. I don’t need you to whisper sweet nothings in my ear or treat me like I’m breakable. I wanted exactly what you gave me. End of story.”

“We didn’t even kiss you,” I said, still a bit dazed.

He’d had sex with two men, but had he even had his first kiss with one?

“So?” Jett looked away. “You said that wasn’t your thing.”

I looked at Ezra. His expression told me all I needed to know.

“You’re right,” I said to Jett.

“Huh?”

“We don’t have the right to tell you what you can and can’t do. And you had every right to keep that to yourself. You’re an adult, and it’s not fair for us to project our feelings about the situation onto you.”

He relaxed. “Why is it such a big deal to you?”

“That I was your first?”

He nodded.

“Because I’ve never been someone’s first.”

Jett swung his gaze to Ez.

“You might have noticed Wes and I have a particular dynamic when we bring in thirds.”

Jett smirked. “You mean the good top, bad top routine? I noticed.”