Page 54 of Their Wicked Ways
I’d hoped my feelings would fade the more time I spent with him. That I’d be able to pack the romantic feelings away and focus on building a platonic friendship.
But that hadn’t happened. In fact, it had made things ten times worse.
I liked Jett, and not just as a friend. He was smart and sassy and a bit of a brat when he was comfortable with you. He was also kind, empathetic, and had a huge heart.
I could have gotten over my feelings if we hadn’t had that second night together. That was what I couldn’t come back from, and I’d spent the last several weeks trying—and failing—to forget about how amazing it felt to be with him.
Nothing about that second night should have felt right. We had strict rules for a reason, and we hadn’t just broken them. We’d shattered them.
The only way our arrangement worked was that we made sure to keep our private sex life separate from when we played with others. We fell into roles and acted out the fantasies we wanted to explore. Nothing was completely off the cuff or spontaneous. Not until Jett.
That first night had skirted the line between fantasy and reality. I felt a connection with him, and instead of terrifying me, it intrigued me, and I let myself get swept away by the moment.
That second night, we went mask off with him. We let him see the real us, and it was perfect.
He was perfect.
Seeing his wide eyes and flushed cheeks after I kissed him had excited me almost as much as watching Ez kiss him because I knew exactly how good those kisses felt. It should have made me insanely jealous to see my boyfriend kiss another man the way he kissed me, but it didn’t. It aroused me.
But only because it was Jett.
The thought of Ez kissing anyone else was like a knife to the heart. But Jett was different.
Sucking Ez off together, kissing him as we pleasured Ez, was hands down one of the hottest things I’d ever experienced. The same as kneeling for him so he could watch Ez get me ready.
Maintaining eye contact with him during such an intimate moment should have been weird and awkward. Itshouldhave made me feel dirty and uncomfortable. Especially when Ez flipped me over and made love to me with Jett only a few feet away.
But it hadn’t. Not even a little bit.
It turned me on and made everything that much hotter, and I’d come to thoughts of how much I wished Jett were between us. I’d thought about another man, been on display for him, while my boyfriend made love to me.
And instead of dealing with things the way we always did, I shut Ez out and made everything worse.
“Babe.” He held my hand in both of his. “Wes. I know this is a lot, but I need you to know that we’re okay. We willalwaysbe okay.”
“I love you,” I blurted.
“I love you too.” He gently stroked my wrist with his fingertips. “What do you want to do about things?”
“Quit our jobs and become homesteaders?” I half joked.
He chuckled, a soft smile on his lips. “That’s one option. But how about we put a pin in that for now and think of a solution that doesn’t involve us going off the grid.”
“Probably a better plan.”
“I think the big question is, do you want to explore things with him, or do you want to decide together that we won’t act on our feelings again?”
“I don’t know.” I chewed on the corner of my lip. “My gut is telling me to explore things, but my brain is saying we should shut it down and forget about it.”
“Mine too.” He sighed. “Hell, we don’t even know if he’d be open to any of this. He might have already decided he doesn’t want a repeat and that he only wants to be friends.”
“That’s true.” I stared at our hands, at how Ez’s touch could be so soft and tender when he had such big, strong hands that were as rough as mine. “It would make our lives easier if he did.”
“It would.” He threaded our fingers together, then unthreaded them. “But based on how he’s been acting, I don’t think he’s over it. I have no idea if he feels anything for us, but he’s not ready to forget.”
I let out a heavy sigh. “Yeah. I noticed that too.”
“I think we need to explore this,” Ez said.