Page 18 of I Can't Bear It

“Because you loved me once, and I loved you,” I whispered into the phone. “Because underneath all that hard steel you show the world and the verbal abuse you dealt out in the later years of our relationship, there once was a great guy who wanted to give me the world. The toxicity of his family’s business got to him, and he lost his way. You told me once you didn’t want your son to end up in the life you were born into. Here is your chance to let me raise Georgi outside of it and give him the life we both know he deserves. If you ever had any love for us, you will just let us go.”

The silence grew, and I thought he had disconnected. I checked the screen, still seeing an active call. I placed it back to my ear and waited. If Alessandro was still on the line but silent, my years of knowing him taught me that it meant he was thinking. That could be a positive thing.

“Get the GSC to change your names.”

“Alessandro?”

“Listen to me before I change my mind and realize you are playing me for a fool,” my ex huffed. “Have them bury your old identities and give you both new ones so the families can never find you.”

“Thank you.”

“Goodbye, Peter. I hope you can find the life I wanted to give you before everything got so fucked up.”

“Goodbye, Alessandro. I hope you find your way out someday.”

I disconnected the call and began to cry. Part of it was a release of the fear that I no longer would have to run from him, and part of me mourned that he had lost his way. I meant it when I said I hoped he would find a way out one day. I just wouldn’t be there to see it.

***

“Hey, baby.” Karl came into the living room and greeted me with a kiss. “Georgi is tucked in and already asleep. Did I miss anything while reading that book for the hundredth time?”

“No. And it wasn’t that many. I would say thrice times max.” I laughed and moved over to make room for my mate in the nest.

“It felt like many, many more.” Karl yawned. “Can’t he pick a different book?”

“Just be glad he moved on to that one. The last book was just a bunch of noises, and he demanded that I do all of them with enthusiasm.”

“I just keep reminding myself they only allow us to read to them for so many years and to enjoy it.”

“And also remember the benefits the studies show. Reading to your kids will help them develop their vocabulary and love of reading.”

“I don’t think our little Mr. Smarty Pants in there needs help with his vocabulary.”

“That’s because I’ve read to him since birth.”

“I sure did pick a good one to raise my children.” Karl grinned, and I playfully punched his shoulder.

“Damn right, you did.”

“Now, what did you want to talk to me about? You said you would tell me after we put him to bed.”

“Alessandro called me today.”

“What?” Karl sat up and turned on the light. “How? He shouldn’t have been able to get your number.”

“Well, he did.” I sat up and patted the egg, letting it feel my calmness amid its father’s panicked energy. “Don’t worry. Everything is okay.”

“Everything is okay? How is everything okay?” Karl babbled, a sign that he was letting his mind lead him into an anxious path.

“Listen, baby.” I reached over, squeezing his hand. “Breathe.”

He took a deep breath and then another.

“Better?”

“Eh. Tell me what happened.”

“He was mad and wanted to inform me he knew I was with GSC.”