Page 88 of Freeing Emily

Wordlessly, she shakes her head. Once the phone stops ringing, she puts it back in her purse.

I sigh and shift in my seat. “Emily… Why aren’t you speaking with your ma?”

She tenses and swallows audibly. “I can’t…” she whispers.

“Why?”

Linking her lips, she dips her chin and plays with the hem of her shirt.

“Emily, talk to me. Why can’t you talk to your ma?” I push.

She clears her throat, keeping her head down. “It hurts.”

I sigh, unable to find the words to say. What can I say? If it hurts, I’m not going to force her to speak with her ma. I’m already pushing her to be sober, to eat. Feck, just to even go outside.

The rest of the drive to the estate is silent. Emily keeps her eyes trained out the window.

I sit in my window watching Rhys and Liam instruct the rest of the men and give out orders. Declan and Paige left for Ireland this morning to officially introduce her to my ma after he proposed a few days. They had asked if I wanted to go with but just the thought of being in Ireland again terrifies me.

My ma lives too close to where they have the Farmers’ Market and there is no possible way I could be anywhere near that place. I don’t know when I’ll be able to visit Ireland again.

My phone vibrates on the nightstand. It’s ma again. She hasn’t stopped sending me messages after I acknowledged one about Paige.

Ma:

I wish you were coming with them.

My vision blurs the moment I read the words. “Fuck,” I mutter, tossing the phone onto the bed.

I run my fingers through my hair and grip tightly at the root.

I know I can’t keep ignoring her but hearing her voice sends me back to when I was taken. Back to the last conversation I had on the phone with her.

When she was here after I was first rescued, I was okay. Granted I was probably in more shock than anything. But… I was still okay with being around her at the time.

Now? Now just hearing her voice sends me spiraling.

It’s killing me slowly. My ma has been my best friend. I’ve always been able to confide in her and it’s breaking me that I can’t do that now.

I pick up my phone and start typing out my reply.

Me:

Me too.

Delete.

Me:

I can’t right now, ma.

Delete.

Me:

I’m sorry.

Delete.