Page 89 of Freeing Emily
“Fuck!” I scream and throw the phone across the room. It shatters against the wall.
Liam steps before it lands on the ground.
“What’s going on?” he asks, voice full of concern. His head whips around, landing on my phone.
His eyes come to mine, which burn as the tears begin to flow. He strides over and wraps me in his arms. He strokes my back, pressing his cheek against my head.
Liam doesn’t ask for an explanation. He doesn’t push for me to talk. He simply holds me tightly and continues to stroke my back.
“Tell me what you need.” He whispers.
“I don’t know…” I mumble. “I don’t know what I need Liam.”
His heart thumps against my ear in a steady rhythm. It’s comforting. His chest rises and falls with each of his breaths.
We sit in comfortable silence for what seems like hours. His presence warms me. My tears stain his shirt, but he doesn’t seem to mind. His arms never let go.
“I feel so lost sometimes,” I whisper.
“I know, baby… I know.”
After a while of sitting wrapped in each other, Liam shifts so we lie down. I settle against his chest, positioned right about his heart. At some point his breaths slow and I know he’s fallen asleep.
I stare blankly at the photo on my nightstand. It’s of me, Ma, and Declan in Ireland. I was about ten years old. My smile and eyes are bright. I look happy.
Slowly, I untangle myself from Liam’s arms and climb out of bed. I look down at his sleeping face. The stress that he holds is gone, softening his features. His mouth is slightly ajar, faint snores fall from his lips.
Standing, I head to the ensuite and search my drawer for the razor I hid.
Once I find it, I bring my eyes to the mirror and startle. Liam is standing in the doorway watching me. Wordlessly, he removes his shirt and strides closer.
His hands wrap around my waist, and he turns me to face him.
He keeps his eyes on mine as he wraps his fingers around my wrist. His tender gaze remains on mine as he presses the razor against his chest.
My heart is beating erratically, my breaths are shallow.
His lips lift and a gentle smile forms on his face. He gives me a subtle nod and my eyes drop from him to our hands. I close my eyes for a moment.
Opening them, I release a breath and then press the blade into his skin.
I watch as the blood pools before flowing down his chest. It travels down the mountains and valleys of his muscled body.
Tears well in my eyes. The emotional turmoil in my body slowly releases its grasp on me. My gaze lifts to Liam once more. He’s still staring at me through tender eyes. The first tear falls, and he watches as it slides down my face.
“I love you,Féileacán.”His voice is soft and sincere. My lip quivers and I release the blade. It clatters to the floor. I bring my trembling hand up to his chest and gently touch the wound I’ve created.
He doesn’t flinch or remove his stare from my face.
“I will always bleed for you, Emily. I will always take your pain.”
My face contorts and release a choked sob. I press myself into his chest, his arms wrap tightly around me, and he kisses the top of my head.
“I don’t want to hurt anymore, Liam. I – I just want to be happy again.”
“You will be. It might take some time, but you will be.”
The following morning, Liam and I lie on a throw blanket in the garden. It’s warmer today than it has been in a few days, so I’m wearing a pale blue sundress with white flowers.