Page 38 of Menage a Passions
“Ooh, I loved her!” Christine covered her mouth with a napkin before she accidentally spat out her dinner in exclamation. “She was the talk of my women’s club all that month. It was a crime she didn’t make it into the top ten.” She reached over and shook her daughter’s arm. “Cait will make it though, surely.”
“But it’s okay if I don’t.”
“Oh, yes, of course. It’s about the adventure, not the ending.”
“Wasn’t there also the lady who talked about pork for the entirety of her interview?” Caitlyn asked Izzy. While Cait still watched most of the big competitions when her partners weren’t looking – and sometimes when Rebecca was feeling particularly patient – she was fuzzy on some of the details. She always rooted for Iowa, but Iowa rarely made it far into competitions, no matter how much Jane waxed poetic aboutcorn-fed girls,much to Caitlyn’s chagrin. “Like she kept bringing everything back topork?”
“We’ll be tackling your interview questions next week,” Izzy assured her. “There will be no mentions of corn, pork, or hawkeyes, you hear me?”
“I’d rather die, so no problem.”
This was how every day had gone so far, and Caitlyn knew it would be more of the same with the occasional visitor from out of town until she finally made her way to New York for the competition.Then I’ll yearn for the tranquility of this place.The prima donna personalities alongside long days would probably do Caitlyn in, but it would be over before she knew it.
Some lucky woman would be crowned Mrs. United Sates of America and spend the next year of her life traveling the country attending banquets, cutting ribbons, and modeling in catalogs. Caitlyn did not ask forthat.While her mother kept reassuring her that it was fine if she didn’t win, honestly, Caitlyn didn’twantto win. She had other things to do than be at the beck and call of the Mrs. United States of America pageant.
And she had to keep saying the whole thing in her head, so she didn’t get other people’s hopes up that it was Mrs. America or Mrs. USA. Those were the two everyone else had heard of, so it wasn’t like this was the biggest honor of her life already.
Before she had the chance to turn in for the night and finally have some quality time texting or video chatting with one of her partners, Izzy knocked on the bedroom door and entered without being invited. She had her laptop in her arm, so this was probablygreatand not at all anxiety-inducing news.
“We’re at the deadline for you to submit your representative charity of choice.” Izzy sat on the bed while Caitlyn was in the en suite bathroom, applying her charcoal mask to her face and moisturizer to the rest of her body. “Now, most of the other contestants submitted theirs long ago and they’re in the portal I can access. I really suggest you pick anything not related to pets and children because that’s like twenty-five people right there. You need to stand out, Cait. Oh, and nothing overly political. The gays are fine, but let’s not focus on any messy scenarios going on elsewhere in the world.”
Caitlyn washed her hands once she was done. “The gays, huh?”
“You know what I mean. If you have a legitimate LGBT charity you want to represent, go ahead. Only Utah seems to care about that right now, ironically enough.”
“I don’t think I should advocate for a charity that directly represents my identity,” Caitlyn said as she dried off her hands. “Too on the nose.”
“Good point. There’s conservation, but I’ll warn you that Florida is expected to hit the top ten and she’sall overconservation.”
“Wonder why.”
“Honey, I don’t know, I haven’t been to Florida since my ex tried to win back my love at Disneyworld.”
That was a sarcastic question, Iz.Caitlyn didn’t bother saying that out loud. Izzy was on a tear, and Caitlyn had long learned that it was impossible to get her mind off anything else once it was latched onto something.
“Are the homeless still glutted?” Caitlyn felt so odd asking it like that. “What about addiction treatment?”
Izzy snapped her fingers. “Addiction treatment! Oh, that’s perfect. I don’t see anything like that on here, and Iowaishemorrhaging pain medications! Oh, it really is perfect!”
Caitlyn dropped her hand towel on the sink and groaned. “Please don’t ever say that out loud on TV. I will pretend I do not know you.”
Izzy still wasn’t listening. “I’ll start researching any regional and national charities. You know, make sure there isn’t anything funny going on in their boards or where their money goes. After I narrow it down to two or three I’ll let you decide which one you want me to contact about putting your face to their name.”
“Sounds like a blast.”
Squealing in excitement, Izzy danced out of the room, her laptop always precariously balanced on her arm. “I have a good feeling about this, Cait,” she said from the doorway. “Thanks somuch for doing this. Ooh, it’s great to be working together again, isn’t it?”
Something about her tone was girlishly earnest.Right. I actually do like her, don’t I?Izzy may still be deep in the pageant sauce like Caitlyn once was, but deep down, she was fairly rational. Or, at least, Caitlyn thought she was…
“Yeah.” Caitlyn removed the towel holding up her towel and got her pajamas out of her laundry bag. “Thanks for reminding me how fun this can be, Iz.”
The door shut. Finally, Caitlyn had the chance to simply breathe.
And fart. Because the last thing she wanted Izzy to think was that Christine’s cooking was responsible forthat.
“Red is huge this year,” said Gunnar Darling, one of the most called-upon dress designers in the pageant world. It had been fifteen years since Caitlyn was last dressed by Gunnar, and that hadn’t even been for a pageant. “Which means we don’t want to godirectlyred, but we don’t want to stray too far from it either. It’s too bad burnt orange doesn’t go with your complexion, Cait. I’ve beendyingto use it this year.”
“Yes, I have a feeling that orange is the last thing we want with my hair color. I’d apologize, but let’s be real, I’d reject it anyway.”