Page 62 of Beyond the Rules
It hit me like a blow to the sternum. “Do you think he’s trying to keep me at adistance?”
“Yourwords.”
“But…” I grappled with thenotion. “Why?”
“Why do youthink?”
“He’s scared. Of me?” It’d never occurred to Zar to fear anything, letaloneme.
“You’ve got to admit it,” Tanner said. “You are a dangerous woman. You’re a walking, speaking, breathing terror. To Aiden. To Zar.Tome.”
“Me, dangerous?” I scoffed and then thought better ofit. “How?”
“You’re a hacker, and I don’t mean in occupation only. You’re a life hacker. You get in, take what you want, thengetout.”
“Wait a moment,” I said. “I don’t like thisanalogy.”
“You may not like it, but it’s true,” Tanner said. “It’s why you aren’t willing to put any time or effort into Zar, because you’re passing by on your way to somewhere and ignoring him is easier than trying to sort through your feelings. It’s why you can’t accept the way Aiden feels. Because if you did, you’d have to accept that he cares for you a lot and then face your own reaction to that. But you’re in denial, Nina. It’s why we’re talking about Aiden and Zar right now, instead of you and me, because you won’t admit to a possibility you erased from your timeline long ago. And now, you need to decide what you wanna do about this, allofit.”
My heart hammered in my ears. We locked stares, but I had to look away. What was he saying? That I couldn’t handle a real relationship? That they could care for me beyond having sex and that I in turn could…what…love them? All threeofthem?
Key word: Fantasy. This was a temporary agreement. Anything else and you’re delusional.The “L” word? Not for me. Sex, exploration and experimentation. That Icoulddo.
“Nina?” Tanner’s voice brought me back. “Don’tfreakout.”
Easy for him to say. I wasn’t cracking his head open and sifting through his feelings like he was doing to me. There was only so much of this I couldhandle.
I moved so fast I surprised myself. I threw my leg over his thighs and straddled his lap. I grabbed a fistful of his shirt and, pulling him to me, kissed him, a clash of lips, tongues and teeth that made his cock spring up betweenmylegs.
“You know, Nina,” he murmured against my mouth. “Sex is not always theanswer.”
I froze in place, inhaling his ragged breath, my lips hovering so close to his mouth. “You want to talk about pain instead? Or perhaps you’d like to tell me about yourfather?”
His eyessteeled.
“I didn’t think so.” I rubbed against the cusp of his blue jeans, wanton, wicked, and turned on beyond belief. “So fuck me, Tanner. I don’t know anyotherway.”
He answered with his own fierce smirk. “You got it,sweetheart.”
Chapter16
Zar
Two days later, I was reviewing the reports from Dimayev’s tails when Tanner barged into thebunker.
“Heads up,” he said. “Laura is on herwayup.”
“Laura?” Tanner looked as surprised as I felt. “She’shere?”
“I just buzzed her in at the gate. She’ll be here in ten.” Tanner shifted on his feet. “Aiden and I were gonna drive to Jackson Hole to deliver the coffee table. It took me all week to convince him to come to town with me, but we’ll stick around if you need us forbackup.”
“Negative, not necessary.” No need to put the guys in the line of fire. Plus, Aiden needed to get out. “I’ll dealwithit.”
Tanner left. I took a last look at my daily reports. We had round the clock surveillance on Nina’s mom at the commune—an interesting place. Susie Mae and her grandson had unexpectedly won an all-inclusive vacation to Disney World and were now on holiday, surrounded by some of our best agents. Mr. Ho’s home health aides were our people too. The sisters of the charity were surrounded. And yet we had no nibbles. No bites. We had no way to tie the vicious messages threatening Nina to any of Dimayev’s accounts, Calamity had gone dark, and Dimayev’s thugs were nowhere to be found. How long was thisgonnatake?
I considered my schedule. My day was packed. I had a number of remote meetings scheduled. Another talk with DOJ, a follow-up with Josh Lane, my weekly meeting with Noah Blake, a compare and contrast with my FBI counterpart, and a phone conference with my lawyer about the upcoming custody hearing. Brutal, but lately I liked my days that way. I didn’t have to face Nina if I was busy, and I sure as hell wouldn’t have any idle time to fantasize about the hundreds of ways in which I wanted tofuckher.
The doorbell rang. I jogged up two flights of stairs. Of all days, Laura had to show up today. Her presence would not be a social call. What the hell didshewant?