Page 61 of Beyond the Rules
“Aiden is what…” Tanner tapped his thumb against his fingers, counting aloud, “two months youngerthanyou?”
“Yes?”
“And those sixty days of a head start make you a mature, experienced cougar and give you the right to troubleshoot Aiden’s heart without giving him the benefit of thedoubt?”
“Hey!”
“I’m gonna tell you right now,” Tanner said. “Aiden is one of the brightest people on the planet. He’s quiet but he knows what he wants and he won’t appreciate yourcondescension.”
“I wasn’tcondescending—”
“Weren’tyou?”
Okay, well, maybe a little, but only because I worried. “What if Ihurthim?”
“Aiden’s a survivor,” Tanner said. “As long as you’re honest with him, as long as you don’t try to deny the way he feels, he’ll be allright.”
“So you don’t think I’m making a mess of things, letting him think he loves me when someday soon I’m going tomoveon?”
Tanner eyed me crossly. “And now, in addition to reading the souls of men, you can also tell thefuture?”
Questions. Tanner always had questions for me instead ofanswers.
He puffed out a long breath, then took my hand and interlaced his fingers with mine. “Nina, I can’t tell you what to do, what to feel. Do you understand that? You have to make your ownchoices.”
Choices. Right. I rolled my eyes at him. Last time I made some of those I went to jail. I’d listened to my heart, done the right thing, and ended up losing myfreedom.
“What about Zar?” I hesitated. “What does he wantfromme?”
Tanner lifted my hand to his mouth and kissed it. “I think you already know what he wants, what heneeds.”
Tanner was right. I had some ideas, but Zar hadn’t brought up anything of the sort and I was paralyzed with confusion. Curiosity, excitement and anticipation pulled me one way. Self-preservation shoved me in the oppositedirection.
“I feel as if he wants tocontrolme.”
“Why would he want todothat?”
“I don’t know,” I said. “You’re the one with the psychology degree. Maybe he needs to satisfy his enormous ego. Maybe he’s naturally bossy. Perhaps he thinks I’m so dumb, he’s got to help me makemyway.”
It was Tanner’s turn to roll his eyes. “Surely you can do betterthanthat.”
I tried to put myself in Zar’s shoes. He’d been a soldier all his life, a perfectionist who planned every detail of his missions. He’d been all over the world, seen firsthand the suffering and danger of a world in disorder. Zar fought to impose order in a troubled world. It was his way of caring. He was controlling because hecared,ergo...
“No way.” My mind couldn’t wrap around the obvious conclusion. “Do you think he needs to control me because he caresaboutme?”
“I’ve never seen him trying to control someone he doesn’t give a damn about, that’s for sure,” Tanner said. “You two are in the middle of a stalemate and somebody needs to make a move to breakthrough.”
It was a lot to process. “He scares me.” There. I’dsaidit.
“In that case, I’d say he’s beensuccessful.”
I probed Tanner’s face. “Successfulatwhat?”
“At achieving hisobjective.”
“Whatobjective?”
“Think about it.” Tanner squeezed my hand. “By your own account, he stays away. He growls at you. He pisses you off on a regularbasis.”