Page 41 of Dirty Monsters

Trailing my free hand up and down her body, I found her nipple and squeezed. Seconds later, she was coming on my hand, hard. It was so fucking hot. My cock was straining against the confines of my pants, and I had to mentally restrain myself from ripping them off and fucking her raw, without any protection like an animal. I wanted to clamp onto her neck with my teeth and leave my bite marks. I wanted to brand her as mine.

Mine to play with, my toy.

But she was my sister.

Bile rose in my throat at the reminder, and I pushed it away. I pulled my fingers out of her cunt and the wet sound accompanying it almost had me coming too. I lifted my finger to her face and shoved it in her mouth, making her clean me up before I left her there.

She licked it and moaned around my finger. God, what I wouldn’t do to have her right here. I wanted to turn her, shove her against the wall and fuck her from behind so I couldn’t see her face. Then maybe I’d take her ass. So I knew it belonged to me as well. I wanted every part of her to be mine.

I needed to back away, or else I wouldn’t hesitate to do more. I couldn’t do more. I was her nurse. Her goddamn brother. I needed to step back and get my head on straight.

I pulled my fingers from her mouth and stumbled away from her. I turned to leave without another word. I was running away from her and my sick mind.

Wren was a drug, an addiction. A sweet addiction if I let her be. I was here to help people like her, people who had addictions, not become one.

I slammed her door as I left and practically ran down the stairs to my room. Once I opened my door, I shoved it shut and slid down to the floor, hands in my hair. But when I pulled them down my face, her scent was all I smelled.

So I did the only thing I could.

One taste and I’d forget everything for the last half hour.Just one. I swiped my finger into my mouth and sucked. She tasted like honey and everything innocent in the world. I was her monster… and it seemed like nothing would change. Because I wanted her again. I wanted to keep doing this with her. Hell had a place for people like me, and having her was almost worth it.

Ro left me curled in the corner of the shower, the water turning cold a long time ago. I was both sated and incredibly frustrated. What the fuck made me think I could handle his hands on me?

His lips on me?

I had never been more aware than I was at that moment of Ro and I being raised together. We might not have been related by blood, but he was adopted by my parents before I was ever a thought to them. I came along when Ro was five, and at some point, I threw a wrench into his and Kane’s lives. Nonetheless, we were siblings for eleven years of my life. He was a monster for the last few years of it so wanting him didn’t make sense. The way my body reacted to his touch made even less sense.

But it had been a long time ago, and we were not related. I shouldn't have felt anything but relief, satisfaction.

Instead, I felt conflicted. Mostly because I wanted more and a little bit because something had become clear at the moment.

Somewhere deep down, I knew it was the first time Ro had ever touched me so sensually. Maybe it had been the point he was trying to prove. He wanted me to believe he wasn't guilty of what Kane was. I had been so young when Kane touched me, and I had developed different stories in my head about all those scary nights.

My resulting dreams had been the truth I listened to and the fears I tucked away. After a while, it didn't matter who had done what to me because both were guilty. They were both monsters. Dream after dream of calling for Ro and him not once coming to help me.

For the first time since I overdosed, I was crumbling inside myself. The need for something to take away the burn was overwhelming, and had I not been trapped in a rehab facility, I would have scoured for a hit of something, anything.

Lip briefly came to my mind. I remembered how easy it was to venture onto the beach and follow him away from my de facto jail cell. The only drawback was I had no way of knowing if Lip was out at the beach right now or if I could even get out there this late, unnoticed.

The other issue was as laid-back as Lip was, I doubted he’d give me the time of day knowing who I was. Not to mention Ro probably put him on notice, and Ro didn’t seem like someone you crossed.

Somehow, I climbed from the cold shower and shuffled my way into the main area of my room. I had nothing but a towel, and my hair was dripping, but all I wanted was to lay down under the covers and pray the cravings subsided. I felt sick, and I wasn’t sure if it was because of the drugs or the toxic relationship I’d formed with the man I recently found out was my adopted brother.

My only saving grace was remembering what I felt like before Ro left. What his fingers inside me felt like. What his lips and tongue and hard body rubbing against my sensitive skin did to me.

The thought of me being addicted to my monster crossed my mind. If someone offered Ro up or a bag of coke, I asked myself which I would choose?

The last truth I saw before finally falling asleep—I would pick Ro. He’d become my new addiction, and I needed another hit.

* * *

The following morning, I woke up feeling better than I did the night before. I was finally able to process all of the events leading up to what happened, and it all started when I left Ro behind after seeing his horse start bucking.

He asked if I wanted him to get hurt, if I wanted him to die. I nodded my head, and at the time, I’d meant it. Life would be easier if Ro wasn’t here. Kane too. I felt like I would be able to finally feel free from the monsters who lurked somewhere inside me.

But it wasn't a reality, and now I found myself wanting to hunt him down and use him to fix me instead. Honestly, it was his fault I was this broken, to begin with, so maybe he owed me something.

As I walked into the cafeteria for breakfast, my brain was stuck in the same loop of memories—a spiral of what was wrong and what was right. And did I even care?