Page 57 of That Last Secret

I need to stop thinking this is more than it is.

Logan Bennett will never see me as more.

Every partof my body screams to skip the gym today, especially after spending the last three nights wide awake and staring at my ceiling, willing the thoughts of Emiline from the weekend out of my head.

I almost kissed her on the balcony of the restaurant.

I almost fucking kissed her.

And I can’t help but wonder if I made the biggest mistake bynotkissing her.

I immediately shake those thoughts from my head because this is not what I want. I can’t let myself get wrapped up in a relationship and risk someone, anyone, falling in love with me. It’s not who I am.

My focus needs to be on my job and the reason I stayed in New York City all those years ago in the first place—to make my dad proud.

When I was eighteen, I had a choice. My mom sold our home and moved south to a small town in Georgia to start a new life. She wanted a fresh place where every corner in the city didn’t remind her of my father. She suggested I either move with her or move out to San Francisco and try to get a job there to be close to my two cousins, the only other family I had. Still, it had been years since we were in contact with them. It didn’t feel right to move near people who felt like strangers despite having a family tie.

Even with my immense loss and challenges, I refused to give up on my dream of working in the Big Apple. If anything, losing my father only strengthened my resolve and shaped the person I am today, the person who hides behind a double-layered brick wall to keep people from getting too close in fear of losing someone else the way I lost one of the most influential people in my life.

Or someone losingmeand being responsible for the heartbreak my mom and I went through.

With a long sigh, I finally manage to get out of bed. I brush my teeth and head to the living room to grab my gym bag. Standing in front of my key rack, I debate between the motorcycle and my truck before deciding on the motorcycle. I lock the front door, the click of the lock echoing in the hallway, and head for the staircase. As I descend the first flight of stairs, the door to the second floor opens, and there’s Emiline.

I practically fall down the last step but get myself together quickly.

Since finding out she’s lived in the same building as me, we’ve only run into each other a few more times. But it hasn’t knocked me off kilter the way it does today.

Probably because I haven’t been able to get her out of my head for the last three days.

“Hi,” Emiline says, stopping her steps at the same time mine stops.

“Hi,” I say back.

She smiles, and I can’t help it when my mind instantly travels back to having her on the back of my bike. I don’t understand why my mind wentthere. Likely because I’m holding my bike keys in my hand ready to go for a ride on the way to the gym.

I never let anyone on the back of my bike.

It might seem like a small thing, but it felt huge to me.

“Don’t you think it’s a little odd that we keep running into each other more and more now that we know we both live in the same building?” She laughs.

God, that laugh. It’s beautiful.

I hold up my hands and smile. “I’m not doing it on purpose, I swear.”

“Relax, Logan. I’m only messing with you.”

I laugh with her to ease the tension. I can’t tell if it’s real tension or if I’m making it up in my head. But either way, it’s there.

It’s maddening how she manages to make me feel so nervous all of a sudden.

No woman has ever stirred up these feelings in me.

I’ve gone from actively trying to avoid her, to jealous over seeing her with another man, to being nice and bringing her coffee at work, to almost fucking kissing her. I’m struggling to comprehend the turn of events.

I take a moment to trail my gaze over her frame when I notice the duffle bag around her arm. She’s also wearing biker shorts that reach just above her knees, showing off her toned legs, and a thin, oversized crewneck, which is a little much for this August heat.

“You still can’t seem to dress appropriately for the weather, I see,” I joke.