Page 88 of That Last Secret

“I thought she lived there?” Marc questions.

“She did. But…” Oliver pauses. “I may have kinda-sorta… brought her home with me.”

I extend my fist across the table for a fist bump. “My brother.”

I find my mind wandering as Marc asks him more questions about his situation with the bartender. I can’t stop thinking about how things are so different now.

Thomas, Marc and Oliver are all moving forward with their lives.

It doesn’t make me want to join them in the happy bliss of love.

But it makes me wish I could tell them about Emiline.

Not that what’s transpiring between us is love, but we have such a good time when we’re together. There’s no denying the intense chemistry.

I feel this pounding in my chest whenever I look at her. There’s this insane need to kiss her and touch her whenever she’s near.

Something sat dormant for a long time, and it took me until recently to allow myself to accept the feeling for what it is.There’s something about a woman like her that you just can’t let go of.

Sitting at this table and looking at the guys makes me see that.

But it also makes me think back on my conversation with Silas.

This deep part of me can’t let her love me, and that won’tallowme to love her.

What if, one day, she asks me to pick up a pizza on the way home from work?

No. No, I can’t allow my thoughts to go in that direction.

I dull my deepest inner turmoil by taking a long pull of my drink.

Just as I’m about to bring myself back to the conversation, I hear the end of Oliver saying, “Her and her daughter.”

My drink sprays out of my mouth across the table. “Come the fuck again?”

Admitting this is a big deal for him. It’s his way of telling us that there’s something there, and he could potentially see a future with the woman.

I glance around the table at my friends whose lives are all changing. Should I make some changes myself?

I told Emiline I didn’t want to fight this anymore.

It’s time I stopped denying it to myself and actually did it.

I kept to myself the rest of the night as my head continued to go haywire. Once I walk through the parking garage, I try to decide on whether I should just knock on her door and talk this through with her.

Then, I remember Emiline told me she didn’t want a relationship.

Hell,Itold her I didn’t want one.

I groan out loud, and my fists clench at my sides with each step I take. This is irritating the fuck out of me. My desire to be with Emiline invades every square inch of my brain, even when I try to push it away.

As if I conjured her up with my mind, I open the door to the stairs leading up to the apartment and see her standing a few steps up on the first landing.

I wait for her to move, but she doesn’t. Her body faces the steps, but her head is tipped back as she stares at the ceiling.

“Emiline?” I say, taking the steps two at a time to reach her.

She snaps out of whatever daze she was in, and her eyes widen when she spots me. I swear I hear her mumble “shit” under her breath.