Page 93 of That Last Secret

I throw punch after punch, hoping to quiet my thoughts.

Logan doesn’t stop me once. He doesn’t tell me to slow down or to take it easy. He just stands there and allows me to release everything holding me back.

When I eventually stop, my gloved hands fall to my sides as I try to control my breathing to avoid completely breaking down in front of him.

“How did that feel?”

“A lot,” I admit. “Does your mind always go to weird places when you do this?”

He nods.

“I think I get why this works now.”

I raise my gloved hands again. “I need more.” I start throwing punches, even though Logan’s not ready. “I hate that I put so much pressure on myself.”

I finally say the words I’ve been burying inside for so long. I want to let Logan into the deeper parts of my mind. I know I can trust him, and being so busy with hitting makes sharing much easier.

“My brothers are so successful.”

I throw two more jabs at the mitts he holds up.

“What if I’m not?”

I don’t allow Logan a chance to answer because I get brave and start throwing hooks in his direction. I have no clue what I’m doing, but I’ve watched people box here and there to know what some punches are.

“I just.”

Another jab.

“Want.”

Right hook.

“To fucking.”

A jab.

“Be enough.”

With one last cross jab, I fall to my knees on the floor, holding myself up with my gloved hands.

“I just want to be enough,” I say quieter this time.

I close my eyes, willing the tears away because this doesn’t seem like the sport that allows tears on the mat. I feel spent from punching as hard as I did, but inside, I’m the strongest I’ve ever felt.

With my emotions this high, a panic attack would normally set in.

But it doesn’t.

My breathing is fast but controlled.

“Emiline,” Logan whispers, crouching down to my level. “Look at me.”

He rests his knuckles under my chin, urging me to do so. Reluctantly, I open my eyes and sit back on my heels. A tear forms in the corner of my eye, and I will do everything in my power not to let more fall.

“You are enough, Em. You’re more than enough. You’re Emiline Ford, and there’s no one out there like you.”

I deeply inhale and allow my eyes to close again, my lone tear escaping. I can’t help my wandering mind when I think about what’s happening here. More specifically, what’s happening between Logan and me.