Page 38 of Going for Two

“This isn’t up for discussion.”

Nolan finally dropped the arm covering his eyes and looked at me, where I was sure he saw a steely gaze that was seconds away from turning into a blazing fury.

“Lottie, if that MRI comes back with bad news, that’s the end of my career.” The desperation that I normally saw in Nolan’s eyes when it came to his hopes for this season was nearly pure anguish now.

Understanding dawned on me. Nolan was like a wounded animal backed into a corner, lashing out at anyone—even someone trying to help him. I had to remind myself that this wasn’t personal. When this was all said and done, he didn’t mean what he was saying. He wasn’t mad at me. He was mad at the game.

“You still have your entire life after this year, Nolan. This is for your lifelong health, not just to throw a ball down a field,” I told him, trying to reach him in his moment of hurt.

Cold silence filled the room after I finished.

“I’m not sure I want anything other than your medical opinion right now,” Nolan finally replied.

“Well, it doesn’t seem like you want that either,” I told him as I called for the MRI specialist to come to the training room.

Nolan’s gaze drifted away from my face and back up toward the ceiling. I slipped out of the room as soon as he was in someone else’s hands. It was clear I wasn’t going to get through to him right now. I forced myself to let all his comments roll off my shoulders as I walked away, but I knew I’d still be thinking about them later tonight simply because I cared about him and I hated seeing him feel like everything was out of his control.

When I got back out to the field, it looked like Caleb had managed to score another touchdown to keep the Bobcats ahead. I noticed the way Caleb moved on the field and realized there was something familiar about it.

He looked like a younger version of Nolan Hill.

But the real version of Nolan was being a complete asshole with only a narrowed focus on himself. I understood the pain an athlete went through during an injury—both mentally and physically—but having to take the brunt of Nolan’s felt different after last night.

Suddenly I was grateful it had been only one night between us—if only to spare my heart from the pain of realizing Nolan only had the space in his to care for one thing this season, himself.

Chapter 18

Nolan

The MRI on Sunday came back negative, confirming Lottie’s assessment that nothing was torn. But by the time the results came back, Caleb had led the team to another win and Lottie was busy helping Derek after he took a hard hit in the fourth quarter. That win helped solidify our position as first in our conference heading into next week’s bye week. I heard the cheers all the way from the locker room as the team celebrated Caleb’s performance. Some athletes in the same situation might have been jealous over their backup’s success, but I was surprised to find myself only happy that Caleb was given a chance like that.

Before the doctor left me, he suggested that I had aggravated my previous injury and that it might take a few weeks for me to get back out on the field. The news had sent me reeling.

A few weeks?

A few weeks meant I would miss an entire game of my last season, maybe more. I felt the potential loss like a gaping wound. I had gone most of my career thus far without having to miss very many games, but even the games I had missed weren’t anywhere near to being some of the last I would play.

I had hovered outside of the training room in hopes that I would be able to catch Lottie and apologize to her, but she was gone before I had the chance. Only Derek was still in the locker room when I finally walked in to change out of my uniform.

“What’s the news?” Derek asked once he saw me.

“Nothing’s torn. I just strained the old injury.” I let out a sigh the second I sat down in my cubby.

“Lottie seemed rather upset after the game,” Derek told me. He was trying to be subtle, but I could sense the underlying accusation in his tone.

“I was upset that I got injured.” Even I knew my defense had fallen flat as soon as it left my mouth.

Derek stood with his back to me as he finished packing the bag he brought to the stadium, and I watched his shoulders slump when he heard my excuse. Slowly, he turned back around to look at me.

“Nolan, you know I love you, but sometimes you are a complete asshole.”

Immediately I felt the urge to defend myself. “You know how it is when you get an injury and the fear of being out the rest of the season.”

The laugh that erupted from Derek was not one of actual enjoyment but rather disbelief. As if he couldn’t believe I was being serious.

“Nolan, have you ever looked at your life and wondered if you’re happy?”

My brows pulled together in confusion. “What does that have to do with anything?”