Page 39 of Going for Two
“Just answer the question,” Derek replied. “Are you happy with your life right now?”
“Well, we’re first in the conference after today’s win,” I started.
Derek cleared his throat, interrupting me. “I want you to consider if you have anything outside of this job that makes you happy.”
Silence filled the locker room as I tried to think of something other than football that made me happy. However, the onlything that kept coming to the forefront was the past day spent with Lottie.
“Have you thought that maybe your career shouldn’t be the only thing you have in life that makes you happy? Especially when it will eventually end. Because when it’s all said and done, you’ll be left with a bunch of trophies that brought you happiness in the moment it happened but then collect dust for the years to come. Maybe it’s time to find other things that make you happy to prevent you from feeling so devastated when things like this happen. New hobbies? Maybe a newpersonin your life?”
Derek asked the last question as if he had been there this morning as Lottie and I ate pancakes at my island.
“I have plenty of people in my life.”
This time Derek looked at me as if he were truly disappointed in me. “Nolan, every career comes to an end. Whether you retire, get fired, or make the decision to change careers. In all those scenarios, there is another chapter. I would hate to see you living in the previous chapter rather than enjoying what’s to come for you. Very few of us have the chance to be remembered after we die by many, but we are all remembered by few and it’s those few that matter most.”
“What does this have to do with Lottie?” I asked, exasperated by Derek’s strangely coded lecture.
“Everything, Nolan. It has everything to do with Lottie.” Derek threw his bag over his shoulder then and walked out of the locker room, leaving me to wonder if my friend was more perceptive than I originally made him out to be.
Monday morning, I showed up to the practice facility for treatment with Lottie fully prepared for her to hand me off to Zeke after how I treated her yesterday at the game, but I was surprised to find her sipping on a mug of coffee in her office. MyMRI was up on one of her TVs and exercises were taped to her walls with sticky notes attached to them.
“Good morning,” I greeted her cautiously.
“Morning,” Lottie chirped, no sign of the previous hurt on her face from when she’d left the training room at the stadium yesterday. “How is your knee feeling today? Good news that it’s not torn.”
Lottie brushed past me to head out into the main room, leaving me feeling unsteady on my feet, and not because of my knee.
“It’s sore,” I told her as I followed her toward a training bed. “I made sure to ice it and elevate it last night. I think some of the swelling went down.”
“Let me take a look.” Lottie warmed her hands up before reaching down to gently assess my knee. The moment her hands were on my skin it was like a visceral reaction—my heart rate sped up and my entire body felt like it wanted to lift off the table to be closer to her touch.
All last night I replayed how rude I had been to her with Derek’s lecture in the background as if it were a movie with a voice-over. My focus had been only on myself, and I neglected to think about anybody else. My only fear was that I had ruined something before it even got started.
“I have a new treatment plan for this next week in hopes that we get you back on the field before the next game,” Lottie told me, bringing my attention back to her.
“You really think you could get me back before our next game?” I asked, hope blossoming inside of me. After I got out of the shower last night, I’d stared at the ugly swelling like it was a bad omen for my season.
“If not, it seems like Caleb can hold the fort down for one more game.”
I tried to smile in agreement with her, but just the thought of missing out on one of my games soured my stomach.
Lottie must have noticed the scowl on my face because she stopped her massage and stepped away from the table with her arms crossed over her chest.
“What?” I asked.
“You may not have seen Caleb yesterday, but he really did hold his own. I know he’ll have your back.” Lottie’s face turned into a scowl that matched my own and a sigh pushed out from between her lips.
“It’s not about Caleb,” I told her. I left out how I felt it was about losing out onmyseason, but Lottie seemed to fill in the blank for me.
She took her time before responding to me, as if she were heavily weighing if she wanted to say what was on her mind. “Have you ever heard ofmudita?”
I shook my head.
“It describes the joy one has toward another’s good fortune or success.”
It had been years since I’d ever felt like I was being scolded, but I suddenly remembered what it was like.
“I think the best leaders have that quality. Maybe you should read up on it.”