Page 53 of In a Pickle
James got the distinct impression he had been uninvited to a couple of parties after that, and so he had decided he would go out with his friends and simply not drink. But when he told his buddies he wouldn’t be drinking one night, they laughed at him and called him a middle-aged man. The taunts had escalated after they’d all gotten their college acceptances. His friends had only worked hard in high school to get into college; once they had acceptances in hand, school and sports didn’t matter to them anymore. When James tried to explain that he was trying to make tennis his career and couldn’t afford to fuck around, they dismissed his concerns, citing other pro athletes who were at the top of their game despite legendary drinking and even drug habits.
James knew he should probably just stop caring what his friends thought — or better yet, find some new friends. But he simply couldn’t bring himself to give up his seat at the top of the food chain. He was addicted to the popularity, to the way the sea of students parted for him in the school hallway.
You’re not in high school anymore, James tried to remind himself. He had graduated this morning, and of course, Mary Grace was hostingthegraduation night party at which to be seen.
James had told himself months ago just to keep up with the popular kids until graduation. Then he’d go off to college and never have to impress any of these people ever again. Except for Mary Grace, he’d supposed. Mary Grace had applied to Stanford in order to stay with James, who’d committed to playing college tennis there. The McMahon family’s sizable donation to Stanford last year secured her early admission along with James.
James knew he should be happy Mary Grace was moving across the country to be with him. And she would excel atStanford; she’d graduated second in their class academically. She would help him feel comfortable as he moved away from home for the first time. So why did some tiny part of James wish he could start over without knowing a single person at Stanford?
He felt guilty for even thinking about it. He decided to try to enjoy tonight, even if he had to pretend to drink vodka while doing it.
He took a deep breath and unlocked the door to Mary Grace’s en suite bathroom. Mary Grace had put a giant “CAUTION! DO NOT ENTER!” sign on her bedroom door for tonight’s party, but James figured that the sign didn’t apply to her boyfriend. As James walked toward the door, a movement on the balcony outside of the bedroom caught his eye.
James figured a couple of kids had snuck onto the balcony to hook up. He knew Mary Grace would be upset; she hated anyone going into her bedroom or private spaces, despite offering up her living room and backyard to be trashed tonight.
James opened the door to chastise whomever had found their way out there, but to his surprise, he found one of his high school classmates sitting alone. The girl’s deep blue eyes reflected the full moon above her. She had her legs drawn up to her stomach and she looked lost in thought.
Her name was Liana, James thought. She’d been in a couple of his honors classes, but as far as he could remember, they’d never had a real conversation. The first time he’d ever really heard her talk outside of class was at graduation this morning; she’d given their class’s valedictorian speech. James searched his mind for any remnants of her speech but found he couldn’t remember a word she had said. Granted, Mary Grace had beenhissing in his ear during the entire speech that Liana had stolen the valedictorian title somehow.
James felt suddenly ashamed, even though he knew Liana hadn’t heard what Mary Grace whispered to him during the speech. Still, Mary Grace had disrespected Liana’s speech, and James felt an absurd urge to apologize to this girl he didn’t know on behalf of his girlfriend.
James only realized he’d been gawking at Liana when she asked him, “Are you okay?”
For reasons he couldn’t explain, James felt himself asking, “May I join you for a minute?”
Liana indicated the chair next to hers. “Be my guest.”
“So,” he said after an awkward silence, “did you ignore the ‘keep out’ signs too and sneak into Mary Grace’s room?”
“I did ignore the signs, yes. But I didn’t go into Mary Grace’s room. I came out here through Tori’s room.” She indicated the sliding glass door on the opposite side of the balcony. “I figured that as Tori’s best friend, I had the right to ignore the signs. After all, she deliberately ignores any pretense of privacy when she’s at my house.”
James chuckled. He vaguely remembered seeing Liana with his girlfriend’s sister a couple of times. But he hadn’t hung out with Tori much. In fact, Mary Grace seemed never to interact with Tori. When Mary Grace was at home, Tori was always out of the house, somehow.
“Ah, so that’s where Tori goes when she’s hiding from me,” James joked. “Your place.”
“Usually. My mom has basically adopted her as a second daughter. One time, I got home from band practice only to find Tori sitting on my bed. My mom had simply let her into my house even though they both knew I wouldn’t be home for an hour, and I hadn’t even invited Tori over.”
James laughed appreciatively, but his gut felt heavy. None of James’ friends would ever feel comfortable enough at his house to invite themselves over when James wasn’t there. James would never invite himself over to any of his so-called friends’ houses, either.
Liana studied him. “You look deep in thought. What are you thinking about?”
“You really want to know?”
She nodded. After a steadying breath, he said, “I’m thinking about how I finally realized, on the last day of high school, that I don’t have any real friends.” He shook his head. “Sorry. That was way too heavy for graduation night.”
“No, it’s okay. You can talk to me,” she said, and for some reason, he really felt like he could spill his guts to her. She added, “I’m just surprised, that’s all. Aren’t you, like, Mr. Popular?”
He laughed. “I’ve heard that once or twice. But it turns out that popularity may not equate to real friendship. Can I tell you a secret?”
She raised her brows. “I mean, we’re out here alone, our friends are all wasted in the backyard in front of us, and we’re about to go off to college and never see each other again. This seems like the best time to tell me a secret.”
“Well, as it turns out, that’s kind of my secret. I never want to see a single one of these people ever again.”
“Like, you wouldn’t even come to our high school reunions? What about ten years from now?”
He smiled. “I guess I could change my mind in ten years, but yeah. As of now, if I never see a single person here again, it would be too soon.”
“Damn. I guess being popular isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.” Liana narrowed her eyes, as if suddenly realizing something. “Wait. Isn’t this your girlfriend’s house? I assume she’s not included in the ‘I never want to see these people again’ comment.” She made air quotes around the phrase.