Page 59 of Above All Else
“Relax?” A fiery fever slapped my face, and I hit him again, my wrist buckling, causing a biting pain to zip up to my elbow. “Never tell a woman to relax. Especially me.” I gripped my wrist, my head falling between my legs. “Ow.I can’t believe this. I’m so screwed.”
“You’re not. I won’t allow you to go to prison. I’ll confess before that happens.”
I shot up. “Oh, perfect. My new boyfriend slits my ex’s throat. We run off together, but I’m totally not complicit. Yeah, they’ll absolutely believe that.”
“Boyfriend, huh?” He gave me a lopsided grin
“Honestly, Carter, it’s hard to believe you’re seven years olderthan me.”
His hand tucked under my chin and held my gaze to his, the playfulness vanishing. “I won’t let anything happen to you, dollface. Trust me.”
I jerked away, but his fingers held me tight. “I can’t trust you.”
“You can. Last night was a mistake, but what this is right now, between you and me...” he ran a finger with his other hand between us, his knee steering the car, “That’s real. I’ll go to the grave for you.”
“Stop it.” I swiped his hand off my chin. “Don’t talk like that.”
“Why? It’s the truth.”
“Because you barely know me, Carter.”
Not like I know you.
“I know your favorite food is a panini from the little bistro across from the school. I know you love kids and want to have three—two girls and a boy.”
My heart swelled, and the hot burn inside my chest abated.
“I know Ethan wouldn’t commit, which meant you wouldn’t have kids.” He paused, shaking his head as he stared at the road. “I know I can give you those things. That Iwantto give you those things.”
“Carter, don’t.” I shook my head.
“Don’t what? Admit how much I’ve thought about you all these years? How I regret honoring my sister’s last wishes? How if I would’ve ignored her, you would have been with me all these years instead of that punk-ass loser?”
Igrimaced.
“No, I don’t think I will stop. You deserve to hear how much you’re loved, cherished, and wanted.”
“You were going to kill me, Carter. Don’t forget that. All those feelings you had about me went out the window.” I leaned against the door, putting as much space between us as I could.
“But I didn’t want to believe it. The evidence was so stron—“
“It was circumstantial at best.”
“There’s a video of you with blood all over you, June. That’s evidence and strong enough to convict.”
“You should have come to me.”
He shook his head. “If I were in my right mind, I would have. I was grieving.” His hand slammed against the steering wheel, and I jumped. “Shit. I’m not making this any better.“ He grumbled under his breath. “I just want you to know and understand this isn’t an excuse. I screwed up. That’s as obvious as the sky is blue. But I can’t go back. I can only move forward, and spend every waking moment making it up to you.” He reached over and gripped my hand, his lips pressing against my knuckles, causing my heart to stir. “I want to give you the world, June.”
My eyes burned, his lips grazing against my knuckles as he stared back at me.
What do I say to that?
My chin quivered, and tears puddled in my eyes, causing my vision to blur.
“Don’t cry. Please.” He swiped at my cheek with his thumb. “Ah,shit.”
“Sorry.”