Page 64 of Tasting Innocence
DEX
Chapter Twenty-Five
A weekafter everything sort of blew up, I sit in front of my TV in the living room, staring at the screen but not listening. The volume is low, and honestly, I’m not even sure what I’m watching. Instead, I’m trapped inside my mind, wondering how I can get everything back to normal. Or at least some semblance of that.
Renzo doesn’t want me and Vi together.
I do want me and Vi to be together.
But I also still want to be friends with Zo.
Trying to figure out how all three things can work has my brain scrambled. Do I give up on what’s starting with me and Vi because he doesn’t like it? I don’t think he’d be excited to be my friend again even if I did break it off.
Thing is, this is the first time I’ve ever even wanted to try having a relationship with someone. Zo wasn’t completely wrong in his statements last weekend, even if they came out with disdain dripping from each word. I haven’t been in relationships, but it doesn’t mean I’m not capable. I have treated women like they were just the flavor of the week, and while it’s not right, I was always up front about what I wanted and what I didn’t. And Zo shouldn’t throw rocks from within his glass house.
Vi told me she talked to him the other day and that it wasn’t as bad as she thought it would be. She suggested he talk to me, and though he said he would, I’ve yet to hear from him. I’ve texted him again, and just like the last one, it went unanswered.
It’s probably stupid or even wishful thinking to imagine he’d at least try to get in touch today of all days.
Today doesn’t hold any importance to anyone else, it’s just the day my mom left. The first year after she took off, Renzo invited me to his house, knowing I was still affected by her leaving. He and his mom came and picked me up and we had a full day of going for pizza, then roller skating, and a movie, ending with me sleeping over at his place. I was eleven, and the events of that day made it to where I didn’t think about my mom walking away from me every second.
Since then, it’s always been an unspoken tradition. We’ve always just found things to get into, even after I came to terms with her being gone.
Dad strolls into the living room in a black suit, typing into his phone. His eyes flicker to the TV then to me.
“What’s going on?”
“Nothing.”
He seems to notice something about my demeanor, or maybe he realizes I'm sitting in front of a TV with no volume and realizes it’s weird.
“Are you okay?”
I don’t think he even knows what today is. “Yeah. I’m good. You?”
He sighs, looking back at his phone. “As good as to be expected, I guess.”
“Are you about to leave?”
“I just came in.”
It’s sad when you don’t even know when the only other person who lives with you is in the house or not.
“Oh.”
I watch as he removes his suit jacket and drapes it over the back of a chair and then unbuttons the top two buttons of his shirt.
“How’s school?” he asks, which is weird, since he hardly ever questions me about school.
“It’s summer.”
“Oh, that’s right.”
Silence passes between us for several seconds as we just stare at each other, unsure of how to interact or what to say.
“Do you know what today is?” I ask.
He looks at his phone. “Friday, isn’t it?”