Page 104 of His Secret

It’s fine. I’m not supposed to be affected.

Doesn’t mean you aren’t.

It’s not even like you think. It’s just dinner.

Dinner is a date night activity, and again, don’t feel you have to defend yourself. It’s not me you owe loyalty to.

Well, that makes me feel like shit, and besides that, it still feels wrong.

We’re both aware that what we’re doing is wrong. Do you want to stop?

He doesn’t reply, and my stomach turns. But twenty minutes later, it finally vibrates.

Come out back.

I quickly put on my house shoes and make my way to the back door. I slide it open and step onto my patio before walking forward, searching the shadows for a familiar figure.

He appears around the collection of emerald-green privacy trees, marching up the couple of steps that lead to my patio.

“Do I want to stop?” he questions, throwing my words back at me.

My hands slip into my pockets as I stare back at him, but he rushes toward me, catching me off guard. I stumble a little when his body crashes into mine, but he holds on to me as his lips land on my own.

I take my hands from my pockets and snake them around his body as his tongue forces its way into my mouth. One hand goes to the back of my head, fingers tugging on the strands. I moan into his mouth as he grinds against me.

I end up pushed against the glass door behind me as his hands travel all over my body.

He pulls away from my mouth to say, “No, I don’t want to stop. I never wanted this to stop.”

With an exhale, I lean my forehead against his. “I know you’re going to have to do married couple things. That doesn’t mean it won’t hurt, but I understand it.”

He sighs before turning to stand on my side, his back now pressed against the same glass door.

“I know what I’m doing is fucked up. I think about it constantly, but I don’t want to stop. I don’t even want to pause while I get it sorted. I’m gonna try. I have to figure out a few things first, but I’m gonna try.”

I nod once. “Okay.”

“I should get back.”

He doesn’t make a move to leave. He just watches me.

“Yeah. You should.”

“I don't want to.”

“I don’t want you to either.”

He leans in and kisses me. This time it’s softer. When he pulls away, he gives me a small smile before walking away.

I can’t help but think that one of these days it’ll be forgood. The trauma from the past still haunts me, and I know he’s capable of cutting me off for someone else.

With a sigh, I turn and head back inside. I knew starting something with Adrian wasn’t a smart idea. Not just because he’s married, but because he’s still in the closet. Because now there’s two reasons why he can never be with me the way I’d want.

But he’s my number one weakness, and I’m afraid there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to have even just a small part of him.

CHAPTER FORTY-THREE

ADRIAN