Page 116 of Lessons In Grey

Suicide or not, his life and death were tragic.

“Hey, Jack, I need you to look something up for me. Camera footage for Emily’s house. Within the last twenty minutes.”

I pulled at my sleeves, my heart thudding.

“I think it was Eris. Diamond pulled her into his office this morning and threatened her.”

Why would they get rid of Jordan though? What was their plan? Grey and Ijustgot into a relationship, we were still figuring things out, but I guess in the world of criminals, it was all or nothing from day one.

I looked out across the classroom, studying the empty seats. Everything looked so different today. How delusional was that? It wasn’t like anything vital had changed. Grey and I had been going back and forth since day one, if I could go back in time, I’d yell at day one Emily.You’re being stupid, he clearly wants to fuck you.

We could have been fucking for two and a half months by now.

I almost hated that. I hated how easily and how quickly everything just…changed. Like some switch inside of me had been flipped, one I didn’t even think ever existed.

It didn’t seem possible.

Yet here I was.

I had known, deep down, that this was a possibility. Not Jordan dying, I never could have seen that coming, but Grey had made it very clear about what was happening. He was a criminal. He killed people. His work was dangerous. Even his brothers were dangerous. I accepted that when I allowed my suffering to become his, fuck, I wanted it.

Maybe I really should consider finding a new therapist.

Was I terrified? Absolutely, but was he worth it?

Absolutely.

I glanced back over my shoulder, Grey was turning back to me, hand on his hip, phone still to his ear, his expression hard, unwavering, his sleeves pushed up on his forearms. Everything about him screamed‘I’m going to ruin you’.Yet he said I was the one ruining him. How could he see me as something like that when he was…him?

He was saying something, quick and low, his eyes locking with mine.

My cheeks burned, but I held his eyes. It was easy now. Everything about this felt easy.

His hardened expression softened ever so slightly, his brows pulling together in question and worry.

There it was again, that little twinge in my gut, a whisper of some piece of me I thought had been lost forever.You trust him.

I did. I trusted him. On some…unfathomable, probably fucked up, deeply in need of being unpacked level, I trusted him.

Was I toxic?

Was this toxic?

Who cared?

We were immeasurable. We were floating on our own euphoric planes of existence. Where we were, nobody else would ever be able to reach. That’s how I felt. I felt like we were above them. Everyone. Maybe not in the sense that we were better, wewere just…vibrating on another frequency. One untouched by the dirty hands of this world.

“Thanks,” he finally said, “I’ll call you when I have more.” He hung up and walked over to me, crouching down beside me. “Are you okay?”

I shrugged, trying to reach for the words that seemed just out of reach. “I am…” I struggled. “There aren’t words to describe how I feel,” I finally decided.

Worry coated his eyes. He released a breath, and sat down beside me, his thigh pressing against mine. “Emily, I’m sorry. It was a few men from the club where he sends his merchandise. They must have injected him with the product, left him there to die. Your father found him; I assume there was a note if your father believes it was your fault.”

I rolled my eyes, turning back to the room. “No, he’s just like that.”

But Grey wasn’t done. He grabbed my chin, gently turning my head until my eyes found his again, real fear in his own. “I know we’ve talked about this, about my life. But if you’re afraid, if you feel like you can’t do this anymore, I’ll understand.”

The laughter that bubbled out was so incredibly inappropriate, but fuck, what else did he expect? “I’m not leaving,” I told him, shaking my head, his hand falling. “I’m not…no. No,” I repeated, the laughter turning to confusion and then panic. “Wait, did…do you want me to—”