Page 169 of Lessons In Grey

With that I headed for my bedroom, my main priority getting to my medication. I didn’t need a bath, but if it got me into the bathroom with nobody breaking the door down, then good.

“If he hasn’t texted you, it’s because he’s scared.”

I stopped at my door and turned on Malachi, confused at his words. “What does that mean?”

He was standing now, watching me with sad eyes. “Jack does his best to make our phone calls and texts untraceable, but there is always that little bit of fear that someone might be watching, listening.”

I rolled my eyes. “Louis knows where I live. He knows what I meant to Grey. That’s a poor excuse.”

Malachi took a step towards me. “If I may, you are a very brave young lady.”

I scoffed.

“You are. You are, without any offense, a normal civilian, and despite knowing about the world we live in and what Grey has done, you willingly remained by his side. Even after what happened to you, you remained loyal, and I am very terribly sorry for what happened, but I commend you for remaining. That was incredibly brave of you.”

I swallowed, my eyes falling to his shoes. Brave? I was brave because I had fallen in love?

It had been worth it though. Staying. Besides, I didn’t actually remember being beaten, just some of the aftermath. It wasn’t a difficult choice, remaining. Not with Grey.

“I understand that this is hard. I do. Probably more so than my boys because I’ve been at this longer, I’ve seen what it can do to normal people.” His eyes found Jeremy’s.

I glanced towards my friend, studying him carefully, the light in his eyes, the heaviness too. Sometimes it was easy to forget that Jeremy was a part of this too. That he had seen some shit too.

“The toll is not an easy one to bear,” he went on, turning back to me. “For anyone. You’ve made the choice not to slide fully into our world, and unfortunately that means that while Grey continues to have missions, you will remain a civilian with insider knowledge. That means that you will always be in danger. You aren’t a threat to our enemies, not like Rae is.”

Guilt flooded over me as I met his eyes again. Rae had dived in headfirst and here I was, complaining, worried, scared, angry. “I’m sorry, I just don’t think I have that kind of strength.” I just…I just needed more medication, that was all. Rachel said everything could be fixed if I found the right dosage, I just needed to keep trying.

He smiled warmly, walking up to me. “You have more strength than you know, darling. Not having the ability to take a life isn’t something to be ashamed of, in fact, I wish I had that kind of power. The toll it takes on the human soul is detrimental. It’s not something you take lightly.” He held out his hand.

I studied it for a long time before hesitantly taking it, my eyes filling at the contact. Fuck, I missed Grey.

He placed his other hand over mine, his smile that of a father. “Every day we meet people and every day those people will look at us and decide whether we will be an enemy or an ally. It doesn’t matter how powerful a person is, Emily, people will always think they are more powerful.

“No, Greyson is not worried that Louis will find you, he is fully aware of the fact that Louis knows where you live. What he is afraid of is the enemies we are making along the way finding out about you. He will always have to be careful, but that doesn’t mean you will always have to understand. You are allowed to be angry, you are, but you must allow yourself to understand too.”

I swallowed past the lump in my throat, my heart stuttering as my eyes burned. “I don’t want to fight with him while he’s trying to focus because that’s what it would be, a fight. We’re going to fight. We’ve never fought before.”

Malachi lifted my hand, kissing my knuckles. “Darling, just because you fight doesn’t mean you love each other any less. It means you love each other enough to trust that no matter what happens, at the end of the day, you both will still be there.”

I inhaled a shuddering breath. “I fought with mom and Charlie, and they died. They were civilians. There was no danger, they were just driving across town. There was no danger.”

Understanding filled his eyes. “We know each other not, meeting only once before this, but I feel like you’ve already made your way into this old man’s heart. Because of that, I will be very truthful with you, and it may hurt, but this is important, okay?”

I nodded, sniffing, hating that this man had such a fatherly presence, so trusting, that I was unable to keep my composure.

“What happened to your family was a tragic accident, and I understand the fear that can instill into a mind, but you need to hear me when I say that my boys will not leave this world without knowing the full extent of it. Greyson has only just found love. He wishes to have a family of his own, blood. He wishes to have a house, a yard, and everything that comes with it. I can guarantee you that he will not die while I am still alive.”

“You’re not magical,” I told him before I could stop myself.

He smiled. “No, but what I am is powerful. You’d be surprised what money can buy, and you’d be surprised at the things I can find. Greyson will not die. He won’t. My suggestion, my dearsweet, Emily, is to answer the phone the next time he calls. He will have time for an argument, I promise. No matter the length. Azrael can deal with things on his own while Greyson fights with you.”

I searched his eyes for a moment before nodding. I wasn’t sure if I could do it, already my hands shook at the thought, but perhaps Malachi was right. Perhaps it was worth therisk.

Fuck.

44

Grey