Page 48 of Lessons In Grey

Ash met me a few steps down from my row. “Do you know what happened to Prof?”

I shook my head, finally getting to my row. “No idea,” I muttered, making my way to my seat.

“He looks hungover,” she contemplated, taking a seat beside me as I fell into my chair. “Do you think he got into a bar fight last night?”

I leaned back in my chair, lifting my eyes to him, taking in the disarray of his hair, how it fell more into his eyes today, taking in the slightly crumpled shirt, and the way his scabs were hardly healing. He certainly hadn’t taken the time with his hands as he had with my arm. “I don’t know,” I replied, pulling out my notebook and a Redbull.

I could feel her eyes on me as I opened my notebook to the first clean page. Lyrics hadn’t come to me in days. Probably the sleep deprivation, but who honestly knew at this point.

“Don’t you want to go ask if he’s okay?” she finally asked.

I felt the weight pulling me under the surface. Chains with barbed hooks wrapping tightly around my ankles. I shouldn’t have come today, but what was the other option? Lay in bed and stare at the door without blinking, waiting for Jordan to come in and punish me for what my dad had done?

I had even tried buying my own alcohol and sneaking it into the house for him, but he had told dad. Hetold on me. I think it was just part of his game, but I couldn’t be sure at this point. All I knew for certain was that he hadn’t gone through withdrawals yet, which meant that he was still drinking.

“That’s not my job,” I muttered, my pen hovering above my paper as I willed something to appear in my head. Anything.

The door opened as if Ash had unintentionally summoned the bitch herself.

Cam, Remi, and Katelyn were all giggling until the moment Remi spotted his knuckles.

My eyes inadvertently lifted, and I watched in numb horror as she hurried up the steps and over to his desk.

I wondered what my face looked like now. Was it as empty as it felt or was I glaring at them?

“Oh my God, Greyson, what happened?”

He pulled his hand away and turned to her, such hatred and rage in his eyes, I could feel the heat from here. “If you touch me, I’ll expel you. Sit and gossip in the chairs if you must, but do not come near me.”

Remi straightened, frowning. “What the fuck? How dare you speak to me like that—”

I reached over and cracked open the Redbull, the sound interrupting her bitchy moans.

Everyone turned to me.

I lifted the drink to my lips, gulping down three painful swallows before setting it on the corner of my desk.

Remi sneered. “That is gross. It’s not even 8am yet.”

I held up my middle finger for several seconds beforedropping it and turning back to my paper. I had so many horrible secrets about her just locked away in my head, but what would be the point in releasing them? To make her feel as miserable as I did? I didn’t want that. Not even for her.

“Fucking pathetic,” she said, loud enough for everyone to hear.

I heard the click of her heels though, telling me that she was leaving him alone, and although I felt absolutely drained today, I did find a slight bit of peace that I was able to stop her from talking trash on Rags.

Grey.

“Em,” Ash said, leaning in. “Em, you look exhausted. Why don’t we skip class today? We can go to the East Wing, you can sleep.”

I swallowed, contemplating her words, my eyes burning with tears I thought had dried out yesterday. “I’m fine, I have to focus on school.” I was a depressed supposed alcoholic at 24 years of age with a dead mom and a dead twin sister, and I still lived at home. All I had left at this point were my grades. I didn’t even care if I ever made it out if this school alive at this point, I at least needed my grades to be good.

At least then I could claim that I wasn’t a total disappointment.

A minute passed by when my phone chimed. I hadn’t written even a single thing on my page. Words were failing me today.

With a breath, I dropped my pen and reached for my Redbull again, pulling out my phone at the same time.

I hadn’t even brought it to my lips when I saw the name that popped up.