Page 54 of Lessons In Grey

Her gentle tone was contradicted by the question.

I gave her an uneasy smile and wrapped both hands around the coffee. “Sure thing.”

Syn waved at me, her smile bright. “Hey, Emily.”

“Good morning, Syn,” I greeted. “Sorry abouthowearly it is.”

She shrugged, looking over to Ash who had broken away and disappeared down the hall. “She’s unpredictable when she needs to be, and I love that about her.”

Music blasted all around us, echoing through the halls.

Syn found my eyes again and shrugged. “Just a few hours.” And she disappeared after Ash.

My smile dropped, my eyes falling to my coffee. I could do this. Just a few hours to relax and have actual fun. I hadn’t done anything like this in a long time, it was much deserved, wasn’t it?

No, not after what I had—

His hand slid over mine, grasping my coffee with me, silencing the thoughts as my eyes drifted to his.

He gave me a small, tired smile. “I promised you that I would help you feel something.” He nodded towards the hall. “Have fun with me.”

My eyes narrowed in slight worry. “You don’t strike me as the kind of person who would do something like this.”

He shrugged. “I’ll give it my best shot.” He stood, straightened his vest and held out a hand towards me. “Let me teach you how to feel again. Please,” he added.

I studied him for a long time. I wanted to. I really truly wanted to. After another few seconds, I took a long drink of coffee, set it to the side and took his hand.

He pulled me up with ease, his fingers sliding through mine, silencing the ghosts living under my skin.

He gazed down at me and smiled as he pulled me into the hall, that tired, haunted look hanging in his eyes. “Tonight is about living in the moment. Feeling the music, the energy surrounding you. Feel it with everything you are, Snowflake. All of it. Don’t let your mind hold you back, just for tonight.”

And despite the emotions bubbling and brewing in my stomach, I nodded, willing myself to just be for one night. I could do that. I could beherefor just one night.

In a whirlwind of music, laughter, and food, we joined in. Ash and Syn’s manic energy forcing both of us to wake up fully and join in on the fun.

We acted like kids again during the games we played. Running down the hall in our socks, seeing who could slide the longest. We played ‘chubby bunny’ and we tied together licorice ropes to see who could make the longest before they broke.

And I had fun.

I actually laughed, and I forgot about everything. About the pain and the hatred and the self-loathing. Nothing mattered in the world, not while Grey was looking at me like this. Like I was his entire world, like I was bringing him back to life.

Being looked at like that, fuck, it made me feel as if I meant something. As if I were something worthwhile. That kind of look? God, a person could get addicted to that kind of look.

But soon, the rock music faded into something slower, our laughter fading to quiet whispers.

I looked over to find Ash holding out a hand to Syn and pulling her close when she accepted. Syn fit so perfectly in her arms. They looked so in love, and they complimented each other in every way. I regretted not having the ability to be more present. I had missed all of it. I mean, I remembered when they first met. I remembered Ash gushing about her in the quiet hours of the morning. I remembered their first kiss, but I wasn’t wholly there, and I hated that.

I hated me for not being able to be fully there.

“Emily.”

I turned at the way he said my name, such warmth around every syllable. He was holding out his hand to me, his brow raised, a soft smile across his lips.

Whether it was the magic of the night, or I had finally just gained some semblance of confidence, I didn’t know, but I wanted to embrace it. Feel it with everything I was, just like he said, however temporary.

I took his hand, and he pulled me towards him, sliding one hand over my hip while the other grasped mine between us. Everywhere his body touched caused mine to catch fire.

I slid my arm around his shoulders and found his eyes. My heart was racing, my face burning, and, unable to hold his intense stare, I leaned in until my head rested on his shoulder, the scent of his cologne flooding through my nose.