Page 56 of Lessons In Grey
I ran my tongue over the skin I had just pained and trailed it up her neck to her ear, letting her hear what she was doing to my breathing. “Fuck, Emily,” I breathed out, catching her earlobe between my teeth.
She pressed herself against me, and I wondered if she could feel the stone that now sat painfully against my thigh. There was no adjusting it now. The pain was good though. As much as I wanted to force her back against the wall and fuck her until those tears shifted into ones of pleasure, I couldn’t. Not tonight.
She was in a vulnerable place right now, and although I could take on the same fucked-up headspace that Azrael did, I wouldn’t do it in good conscious.
I wasn’t actually psychotic. I still had morals, unlike him.
She clung to me as I dipped my head beside hers, trying to regain control, both of us panting.
Emily gripped into my shirt, the motion changing from lustful desire to something else, something desperate.
She shifted ever so slightly, dipping her head into my shoulder until I was sure she was trying to hide her face from the ghosts that haunted the halls.
I turned into it, releasing her hand only to slide mine around the back of her head, stroking her hair comfortingly.
Seconds turned into minutes before she finally leaned back just enough to meet my eyes.
She held them steady, her green eyes shining in the light of the Fall moon. She searched mine, and I could tell by the twitchof her eye that she was fighting not to look away.
“I’m not ready to go back into the nightmare,” she finally confessed, my eyes falling to her beautiful pink lips.
Warm and inviting and void of the joy they had carried not twenty minutes before. I would do anything to make her smile like that again, to make her laugh. If that became my life mission, I’d thank God for it every goddamn day.
I carefully took her chin in my hand, wanting more than anything to capture that bottom lip between my teeth and taste what she’d been tasting since she first walked into my lecture hall. “Then stay here with me. Your mind, your energy. Stay here with me in this space, our space.”
Her eyes turned desperate. “You’re encouraging me to disassociate.”
I nodded, taking my time in memorizing her features. “Yes,” I breathed out. “For now. Until you’re ready to be with me fully.”
Her face burned bright red, her lips parting in an answer, but before she could speak, Ash sounded down the hall.
“Shit,” Ash said, pulling my ears towards her, although my eyes didn’t leave Emily’s. “The sun is rising, we have to go before the caretaker gets here.”
Fear flashed through her eyes.
“No,” I said, pulling her lip away from her teeth with my thumb. “Deep breath, Snowflake. Sometimes bravery means running away.”
“You told me not to inhale,” she said, her pulse quickening. “Why are you telling me to take a deep breath now?”
“Guys,” Ash said again, closer this time, “I’m sorry, I am, but we have to go. Now. We have to leave.”
I offered a small smile. “You’re overanalyzing, Emily. Each moment calls for different things. I don’t want you to inhale saltwater, I want you to inhale the breath coming from my lungs and know that it’s all for you. Every breath I take, every beat of my heart, it’s all for you.”
“Guys, I’m sorry, I’mreallysorry, but we have to go.”
Fuck, just a few more minutes. Please, God, just a few more minutes.
Pain passed over her expression, taking over the memories of the night so quickly I feared for what would happen in that mind of hers when she left.
I leaned in, pressing my forehead against hers, our breath mingling between us. “Emily,” I mumbled, gripping her face, her hips. “Hold onto tonight with all that you are. It’s not the end, I promise. It’s not the end.”
She gripped into me tightly, the panic clear in the air that swirled around us. Seconds passed.
“Guys,” Ash said again, closer this time.
Fuck!
Emily shoved away, releasing me all at once, leaving a chill spreading through my very bones.