Page 9 of The Step Don't

“I always get Sarah to change it. Is that wrong?Are you upset?”

It’s true. I really shouldn’t be surprised, and I can tell by the way she asks that it’s a sincere question. She cares, but sometimes there’s a real disconnect. “It’s cool, Mom. So you’ve gotta go?”

“I have a few minutes. Is it something important?”

“If it was important, I’d just call whenever. I wouldn’t need to schedule with Sarah.”

“Are you being passive aggressive again?”

“What’s passive about that?” Now I’m raising my voice. I take a breath. “I just wanted to tell you about my week. And hear how your week was going.”

“But you can see why that’s less of a priority for me than the deposition to put away a murderer, right?”

Is that even a fucking question?

“Just tell Sarah to make time to call me so that you can make time to call me.”

“With how much time we spent on this call, I feel like I should have just asked you how your week was.” She snickers, and I’m sure she thought that was funny. And it could be funny if this wasn’t typical for her.

“I’d say you could call Steve,” she says, “but he’s at the golf course with a friend from college. What about your dad?”

“He’s at a conference in Tokyo. And it’s not like I have to talk to someone about my week. I wanted to talk toyou. I’ll figure it out, but thanks, Mom.”

“Okay, Ash,” she says like a goddamn robot.

“I’ll talk to you later. I love you.”

“Talk to you later. I love you too.” I can tell she’s forcing herself to say the words. Mom is not the show-your-feelings type, so fortunately, this is an area where therapy has helped us.

After we hang up, I’m on edge. I take Sagan in my hand and pet her to soothe myself.

Colin’s out of his last class, and he’s not working today, so I call him to tell him about the stunt Mom pulled. When he answers, he says, “I don’t think Marty’s gonna do well on his test tomorrow.”

“I can hear you!” Marty says, which makes me laugh.

This is typically how Colin and I answer each other’s calls. Not much “hey, how’s it going?” We jump into whatever’s going on.

“What are you guys up to?” I ask.

“Marty has a chem test tomorrow he needs to study for, and it’s not going well.”

“No offense, but he askedyouto help him with chem?” I’m the unofficial tutor for all the guys at the frat, which I love, so I’m thrown.

“It’s flashcards and memorization,” Colin says. “Trust me, he’ll be hitting you up too.”

I chuckle. “Let him know I’m here when he’s ready for me. Sorry it’s not going well, though.”

“Eh, it’s Marty. Who cares?”

“Asshole!”Marty says.

“Oh, whatever. You love it.”

The guys laugh before Colin’s attention returns to me. “So really, what’s up?”

“It’s nothing. I can tell you later.”

“You were talking to Lauren, weren’t you? It’s just past four, so that has to be it.”