Page 133 of Not Until Her
I don’t even know how much I care if she does. My emotions are high, and I’ll probably feel differently tomorrow, but right now… I don’t care at all.
I can tell she wants to say more, but she holds it in. Whatever it is.
“You should leave,” I tell her.
She shakes her head.
“Why would you n—“
“I want you to leave right now. I didn’t want to have this conversation today.”
Her head drops in what I assume is defeat. My limbs ache with the urge to hug her, but I stay still. Painfully still, like a damned statue.
She hesitates for a few seconds, but she does it. She leaves without another word, or another look my way.
Arms wrap around me from behind.
“I’m so sorry, sunshine.”
My head falls back onto Kara’s shoulder.
“Wow,” I whisper. I don’t know what other words there are to say. Trying to come up with some just sounds exhausting.
Being back in bed sounds so appealing, and Kara must see it on my face. She guides me back to my room, and my head is hitting my pillow before I know it.
“I’m here if you need anything.”
The last thing I’m aware of before falling back asleep is the soft kiss she places on my cheek.
How couldthisupset someone that cares about me so much?
“We have to figure out how to tell people. I don’t want to take this ring off, but I can’t go back to work with it on. I don’t want my coworkers to figure it out before we tell the important ones.”
“Who do you want to tell first?” she asks before opening up my junk drawer and pulling out a pad of paper that should look all too familiar. We smile at each other before she clicks a pen and encourages me to answer.
I guess we’re getting organized.
“My parents. They’ll be cool about it, I think.Definitelysurprised, maybe a little disappointed they weren’t there to see it, but I don’t think they’ll be upset.”
She writes it down.
“I’m glad. That’s one less terrifying conversation for us to have.”
“Who do you want to tell first?”
“No one, but I guess I have to tell my parents too. They won’t be happy. It’s going to go terribly.”
I rest a hand on her shoulder.
“You want to give me a heads up on what to expect?”
We’ve already established that her mom isn’t a good person, but I want to be as prepared as I can possibly be. My wifetakes a steadying breath before diving in.
“On top of all her other endearing qualities, she’s very traditional. Actually—traditional isn’t the right word. She’s hateful. Believes marriage should only be between a man and a woman.” Her eyes scan my face like she’s waiting for me to be scared, but it won’t happen. I’ve dealt with plenty of shit over the years, even while I was with Caleb. My appearance has always made people believe I wasn’t straight, before I even knew myself. “I remember when same sex marriage was legalized, and she went into a rage. Went on about how that didn’t mean she’d have to work with any of them, and that she hoped there wasn’t a real estate agent in town that would because, ‘they’re lifestyle shouldn’t be enabled like that.’”
She gestures with air quotes for the last part, and I hold back a wince.
I need to give my mom the biggest hug the next time I see her. It’s not like I wasn’t aware how lucky I am to have her, but I’m finding new evidence every day.