Page 79 of Not Until Her
I do as she says.
“I was going to, you just took me by surprise.”
She uses our miniature hold on each other to pull me in until our bodies are flush together.
“I have plenty more surprises up my sleeve,” she whispers against my ear.
I’m dizzy from the overwhelming want I feel around her. Neither of us let go for what simultaneously feels like forever and also not long enough.
“What are you waiting for?” I finally ask, out of breath somehow.
“I’m waiting for you to tell me what you’re thinking.”
“I’m thinking I really like this,” I blurt. “Spending more time with you.”
Her eyes widen, and I hope for a few seconds that it’s the lead up to her telling me she feels the same way. That she’s going to smile and hug and me and…
My daydreaming ends when her face falls completely. She breaks eye contact and scoots away from me.
Crap.
“You said you wouldn’t,” I say quickly.
It’s a lie. She never actually said the words, I may have only assumed she was agreeing.
She clears her throat, taking a second to find the response she wants to go with. When her mouth finally opens to speak, she looks me in the eyes with an intensity that’s not my favorite thing in the world.
“I’m not, but…” God, she looks so uncomfortable. It’s reallythathard for her, I see every ounce of the effort it takes in her expression. “I meant it when I said you’d never be my girlfriend. This isn’t anything serious, you know that right?”
I nod, because I’m supposed to.
It goes against what I’m really feeling.
“Yeah, of course,” I breathe.
“Okay. Good,” she starts, already looking relieved. It makes me a little upset that she doesn’t see right through me. “You get it, I need to make sure there isn’t some ulterior motive with you telling me,” she explains.
“Yep. Understood.”
I mean, I tell my friends I like spending time withthemand I’m not trying to get them to commit to me. I easily could’ve meant that.
She smirks, and moves to sit closer again.
I feel the relief in every single part of me.
“I like it too, but if you tell anyone I was nice enough to admit it?” She nips at my bottom lip. “There will consequences.”
My first thought is that I want to know what those consequences would be. I’m tempted to find out, but who would I tell? We don’t have the same friends, I have no idea who’s in her circle. Whose opinion she cares about.
I can’t even picture the kind of people that Kara would lean on, vent to, take advice from.
I wouldn’t be all that surprised if there wasn’t a single one.
23
Destiny walks in the building, and I try not to grimace. I should be glad she bothered to show up, but I find it harder every day to feel anything other than annoyed in her presence.
She walks past me with one of those polite, ingenuine smiles. I give her one in return, until she looks away.