Page 92 of Bring me Back
The steps behind called to my attention. Strong pounds on the pavement and a stop. I didn’t turn my head to check who it was, but as every hair on my arm rose, I took a guess.
He descended the steps and only when he reached me, taking a seat to my side, I dared to look to my left.
I loved Daniel Miller.
It was obvious, crystal clear. I knew it when he could read me like a book, when our banter turned into easy friendship. When I saw myself being unapologetically me. I knew it when we kissed for the first time, and I lost myself in the kiss even with Ryan- of all people - a few feet away from us.
It took form when we had sex for the first time, whenIhad sex for the first time. Made unmeasured sense, all those things people talk about, planets aligning, stars shining, souls bonding. It was all true while we were together.
But loving him wasn’t enough, so I prayed it wasn’t forever.
“Are you taking it back?” He asked, his body turned to me.
He was wearing a soft gray tee drenched in sweat and basketball shorts, obviously exercising.
“I realized it wasn’t no one’s to take. Not even mine.”
“Still, it took a lot of guts to finally come.”
“It did,” I agreed.
I loved he knew so much about me with the same intensity I hated. Silence took us for a few minutes. People walked by and played on the beach. Their laughter mixing with the soothing sound of the waves.
“What happened at the school exactly?” I asked.
“You know about that?” His eyebrows soared.
I lifted a shoulder. “Dad came home looking guilty. He confessed.”
Daniel nodded, looking at front and taking a long breath. “He was right to be angry. Right to ask for a principal to protect the students.”
“I know,” I said with a small voice. At the time, I waited days for the call. I thought Anderson was going to call my dad and tell him I was giving boys my naked pictures. I waited with the explanation on the tip of my tongue, embarrassed for Dad and me. Praying he’d believe me, wondering what version was worse. But the call never came, and by a week after the incident, I’d realized Anderson was covering up.
I should have been enraged. I should’ve come to Dad myself and told him what was happening. Instead, I was relieved. Happy for never having to tell him. With my head down, I was left alone for the rest of the term. I got into a good college and told myself never to look back.
“People are looking into it,” he said. “I want you to be ready, if someone comes asking questions…”
“Someone who?” I turned and looked straight into his hazel eyes.
He didn’t falter when he told me. “The school board. The police.”
I winced.
“It’s not just because of what happened to you. He’s the principal in charge of the only school in town. They need to be sure that he wasn’t…”
I nodded. They needed to dig to see if there were any more skeletons in the closet. Things he covered, pictures he kept. My own pictures I never knew if he threw away after it was all said and done. That was another thing I’d tried not thinking about too hard.
We fell into a silence, leaving me with goosebumps at how familiar it was. I could sit for hours beside Daniel, not saying a word, and never feel alone. My eyes stung with unshed tears, but I refused to move.
“It’s a mess, isn’t it?” He said after minutes in silence.
“What is it?” I asked, but I knew the answer before his reply.
“Everything.” He rolled his shoulders back. “Us.”
“It’s me and this town, Dan,” I told him sincerely. “My relationship with the place I was born is damaged, and I can’t seem to untangle it. I can’t…” I turned to him as a tear fell free.
“It’s not just you.” He swallowed. “I’m in the mess, too. Iamthe mess, Hallie.”