Page 98 of Bring me Back
That time I whipped my head up, looking into her blue eyes. “What about yours?”
Delilah shrugged. Helping with the drama department was going to makeherdreams come true, but Sharon never cared about that.
“Then, every time I saw you was with Mr. Miller, I…” She shook her head. “It was easy to believe in her version of things. But it wasn’t me who told her.”
“It was Ryan.” I agreed.
“I’m not really good with people.” Delilah licked her lips. “She’s my sister. I—I believed.”
“It’s ok,” I said.
It was. It was more than all right. Delilah was a kid, of course she was going to believe whatever her big sister told her. She must have been eleven years old when I was in my senior year, hearing her big hero of a sister tell horrible tales about a girl at school? I got it. Even in her worst, Delilah was never as cruel as Katie.
I finished the corset in silence, only stepping back when it was done. Delilah’s hand smoothed over the fabric, a small smile bright on her lips.
“You did amazing.”
I dipped my chin and took a breath before asking. “What didn’t you tell her?”
“What?”
“After the camp. It wasn’t you who told Katie about me and Daniel. Why?”
Delilah smiled a little. “Because you helped me with Pandora. Even in the middle of this mess, Mrs. Carr told me you reported everything to her. Including how Pandora was impressed with me. They called my mother and all.” Her face fell a little.
“Did it help? Are they letting you go to theater school?”
Delilah swallowed. “No. But I have a plan. A good one.”
“Do I want to know?”
“Oh no, Ms. Delos Santos. You’re an authority figure. You definitely shouldn’t know.”
And right there, against all odds, Delilah and I started to laugh.
Dear Cricket,
I tried to come up with something funny for this one, but I couldn’t. I’m sure you can call up Mark and ask for a top ten dumb shit I’ve done through the years, and he will have a field day to fill you in.
Today I can’t do much, because I can’t stop missing you.
I know… I know! I promised these letters weren’t about that, but today, Cricket. Today is hard.
There’s nothing specific about it, but I woke up missing everything about you.
Mostly your eyes, when you refuse to speak like it’s not written all over your face. I miss when you joke around with me and how stubborn you are. I miss the things we were going to live. Things I imagined we were going to do together, like that weekend at Spring’s Harbor. Or a trip to Mark and Abby’s.
Today I miss lots of things that never happened.
I’m not perfect, and even in my fantasies, I’d do something wrong down the line. Days where I messed up. But I crave for those too, the days when we fight, learn something about each other and move on, stronger for it.
I always imagined something real with you. Not perfect. I wished for growing old, telling stupid jokes. Fights and reconciliation.
Boring days, tiring ones where I get to sleep with you curled around my chest. Days when you barely say a couple of words, but I can read your needs just by the way you arch your eyebrow.
I was always going to mess up from time to time, Cricket. I think we all will. It’s only human. But it’s the want that changes things. The want of making it perfect even if it’s not possible.
Wanting to make you smile, to change the world so it caters to you and only you.