Page 99 of Bring me Back
I want it. I want more than anything.
I will never stop writing to you, Cricket. But I think I’m running out of pieces of my heart to give.
I think you have them all.
Love, Dan.
Wings, horns, flowers and flowy dresses.
The woods took form as the lights were tested upon them, my flowers shining, making my knees wobble in awe. We did a good job. An excellent job, actually. I blinked away from the stage, the hairs on the back of my neck rising, my whole body knowing Daniel was around somewhere. I came back to myself with a loud clap coming from Mrs. Carr.
“Everyone ready?”
“Where are the boys?” I asked, fixing Carmen’s flowers by the hem of her dress. Another girl that looked more like a vision than a high schooler.
“With Mr. Miller on the other side of the stage.”
My fingers stopped mid-action. Carmen snickered, watching me intently as I raised up again and pretended I didn’t care. I cleared my throat and stepped away from Carmen, checking everyone’s costume, keeping my hands and mind occupied, even as my heart thumped, demanding to see Daniel.
“You think we can win, Mrs. Carr?” Asked one of the girls.
I almost forgot they were still in a competition. In the theater’s front row was the same committee who came to evaluate them all those weeks ago.
All around me I could spot the signs of their anxiety. Biting lips, hands wriggling over their laps, frowns in place, making my fairies a little bit human.
Mrs. Carr picked up on that too, as she made a sign of a circle with her hands. “All right, everyone over here. Come on, come on, real quick. You too, Hallie.” She urged when I was left outside the circle.
I squeezed myself between Nova and Carmen, and we all waited for whatever Mrs. Carr was about to say. I hoped to God it was inspiring because we could cut the tension with a knife.
“No one cares.” Said Mrs. Carr finally.
Stillness followed that statement. It was Nova who broke the spell. “Hmm, Mrs. Carr, we care.”
“You shouldn’t,” my old teacher told them. “I wasn’t a fan of this whole competition idea to begin with… But we needed it for the funding. Our fight was always to get here, right now. Look at the dresses you are wearing, the magic of that stage right there. This is the win, girls. I couldn’t ask for anything else. If we win, great. If we lose… I don’t see how we could ever lose. Not when you all look the way you do. Not when everyone has their lines on the tip of their tongues. I know it’s scary to give that much of yourself to something,” she firmly said, almost making eye contact with them all. “But that’s art. It’s giving something and expecting nothing in return. It’s being real, raw and unfiltered. I know for many of you this will be your first and last time on stage, so give it all. Leave nothing inside. Come back home empty.”
The silence defined the fact we were in a school theater and those were teenage girls. They listened to Mrs. Carr like I once did, as she was the only adult that really saw them for who they were. I felt her words in my core; I wanted to leave it all behind.Come home empty.
She changed gears quickly, with a smile on her lips and a flourish of her wrist. “Are you ready?”
A song of yeses rang through the backstage, at the same time the boys started to come through the other side. Horns, leather cuff and the occasional horse mask. They looked perfect, too. My chest swelled with pride.
The lights dimmed, everyone scattered to their positions, and I held my ground, excitement coming to life and curling on the bottom of my stomach. Heavy red curtains were drawn as the audience clapped with enthusiasm.
And it started.
“Now, fair Hippolyta, our nuptial hour draws on apace; four happy days bring in another moon; but O, methinks how slow this old moon wanes. She lingers my desires, like a stepdame, or a dowager, long withering out a young man’s revenue,” a mouthful from Adam, his voice carrying across the theater.
I followed Mrs. Carr’s steps to offstage right, holding my breath like it was going to disturb the kids at the stage. Their first lines were delivered flawless, their beautiful faces perfect against the background.
Mrs. Carr moved around without being seen, holding an old script in her hands. She should’ve sat in the front seat, but Mrs. Carr wasn’t just a director. She was a stage manager, coordinator, anything and everything.
I let myself be in the moment, watching the kids with a smile on my face. Mrs. Carr was right, the victory was tonight. All that we accomplished together.
“The course of true love never did run smooth.”
The line came like a punch in the stomach. Tommy’s voice was firm and smooth as the perfect Lysander.
My insides turned to liquid, my hands shook, and the hairs on my arm rose. My eyes went up, to beyond the stage, beyond the kids, beyond lines and into the theater. Across the stage, his hazel eyes found me. They called me. In his full height, even from afar, he looked too tall, towering over everyone else. The beard looked longer than the stubble I was used to, his hair a little unkept.