Page 39 of Shadow Redemption
Although he lost himself in the kiss, he was aware enough to maintain a hold on Ruth that she could break at will. He didn’t want her to feel trapped. When he knew his control was seconds away from collapsing, Ben broke the kiss.
“No, not yet. Please.”
“Shh. Let me hold you for a few minutes.”
“What about the meeting with Shadow?”
“They’ll wait.” He trailed his fingers along her spine while his other hand cradled the back of her head. As their breaths settled into a normal rhythm, he eased away to lock his gaze with Ruth’s. “You amaze me, sunshine.”
She blinked the last of the dazed look from her eyes. “Why?”
“You could have panicked during those two attacks. Instead, you followed my instructions, making it easier for me to concentrate on protecting both of us.”
“I was equal parts terrified and furious.”
“Furious?”
“That you were in danger again because you’re protecting me. I don’t want to lose you.”
“If I’m out of commission, other operatives are capable of protecting you.”
Ruth scowled and thumped his chest with her fist. “No. You don’t understand.”
Ben’s mouth grew dry. “What are you saying?”
She opened her mouth to say something, then closed it again and started to turn away.
He caught her upper arms and held her in place. “Don’t run. Talk to me.”
“I don’t want anyone else protecting me.”
A truth, but not all of it. He waited, willing her to open up to him. She stayed silent, unease flickering in her eyes. What was wrong? Afraid he’d pushed her too far, too fast, he slid his arms around her again, drew her against his chest, and lowered his head until his mouth was against her ear. “What do you need, Ruth?” As far as he was concerned, anything Ruth wanted, she could have.
She edged closer. “You,” she whispered. “I need you.”
He froze. “As a bodyguard, a friend?” Please, not the friends-only talk. That might kill him despite the fact it was safer for her.
“More.”
His heart rate spiked. “How much more?”
“Whatever you’ll give me.”
Ben cupped her chin and tilted her head back. “Tell me.”
Ruth shook her head. “It’s a ridiculous fantasy. I should go find my sister and assure her I’m safe. She must be frantic.”
“Bridget will wait another few minutes. In the darkest hours of the night, what is your fantasy, Ruth?” Was her fantasy the same as his improbable dream?
She took a deep breath. “That you and I are a real couple.”
Oh, man. Never in his wildest dreams did he think Ruth would consider a real relationship with him. “Why do you think us dating is a ridiculous fantasy?”
Sadness filled her beautiful eyes. “Because you deserve a woman who isn’t tainted and broken.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Shock held Ben immobile as he stared at Ruth who looked as though she would burst into tears any second. “You aren’t tainted or broken. You’re perfect.”