Page 63 of Kane

He stepped behind her and rested his hands on her shoulders. “You don’t have to hide.”

“I don’t even know why I’m crying.” A lie. She cried because everything in her needed what he said to be true at the same time she feared it couldn’t be.

He tsked as he turned her into his chest. His body was bigger than it used to be, but she would have recognized the feel of his embrace anywhere. “I think we have a lot to figure out about each other.” He kissed the top of her head. “I’ll take a beer. Bud if you have it.”

She took in one more deep inhale of his clean scent before she let go to get the drinks. When she returned from the kitchen, Kane stood at the bookshelf again, looking at the same photo.

“This is how I remember you.” He accepted the beer and used the front of his shirt to protect his hand as he twisted off the cap. It gave her a brief glimpse of rock-hard abs sprinkled with dark hair; he had more of it now than before. If he realized how he affected her, he didn’t show it. His gaze drifted back to the photo, and his face softened. “This was the best time in my life.”

She sipped her zinfandel, despite the temptation to guzzle it down. “It was the best time in mine too.” Another sip. Ah, fuck it. She finished the glass and drifted back to the kitchen to grab the bottle.

Now he relaxed on the love seat, and she sat beside him, her heart racing as if she’d just run a marathon. “Are you seeing anyone right now?”

He shook his head slowly, sending a thrill through her heart. “You?”

“I was.” Shame kept her from sharing the whole story. “I broke it off.”

“Because of me?” He searched her eyes.

“Partly, but mostly because of me. I didn’t love him. It wasn’t a relationship built on feelings. I was his arm candy. He was…a means to an end. It had already gone on too long.” Nathan was the last thing she wanted to think about.

He took a pull from his beer as he considered her words. “There was someone for me, not too long ago, but she—it wasn’t anything real. None of them have been anything real, but I have to tell you, I haven’t exactly been a saint since we were together.”

Oh look, something she wanted to think about even less than Nathan. “It’s been thirteen years.” She refilled her glass. “I never expected you to live like a monk.”

“Mandy—”

She held up her hand. “Stop. I know you’re trying to be honest, and I appreciate it, but I don’t want to hear what you’re about to say.” The vague idea of all the women who’d shared his bed over the years hurt bad enough. She wasn’t sure if she could stand listening to the particulars. “We’ve both been with other people. But here’s the bottom line for me, no bullshit. I have never loved any man in my life except for you. There was no one before and no one since who has come anywhere close. No one I wanted a future with. No one I wanted a family with. It was only you. Only ever you.” The confession left her stripped bare. She reached for the wine bottle, but he stopped her hand with his.

“And for me, it was only ever you, Mandy.” The truth swirled in the chocolate depths of his eyes.

She swallowed. “You keep calling me Mandy. I’m not her anymore. I’m not even sure I remember how to be that girl. The kind of girl who believes in wishes and fairy-tale endings. I can’t go back and unlearn the lessons these years have taught me. I’m not sure I would if I could. I do miss her, though. Your Mandy. I was happier when I was her.”

Kane scooted closer, his thigh brushing against hers, and framed her face with his rough hands. “You could be happy again.”

Her eyes closed as she leaned into his touch. It would be so easy to block out the world, to simply be here in this moment…with him. But all the questions and doubts would still be here afterward. If this was going to happen, they had to learn each other all over again, not just the ghosts living in their memories, but the real-deal people they were now.

She forced her lids open and focused on his soft gaze. She could drown in those eyes.

What was she going to say?

Her resolve vanished as he leaned forward and brushed his lips over hers. The beer lingered on his breath, and her tongue quested into his mouth for deeper contact. The crisp flavor tingled over her taste buds, but as he deepened the kiss, she only tasted desire.

She couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t think. She needed to get closer.

Kane didn’t make her wait. Sliding his arm around her waist, he tugged her toward him, and she went willingly to his lap, her legs straddling either side of his.

Now the kiss was a full body experience. The beard still scratched some, but in her hunger, it barely registered. Her hands clutched his broad shoulders as she molded herself against him. Everything about him was bigger than before. His chest, his powerful thighs, even—

He groaned as she ground against the hardness between her legs. The arms he had around her waist dropped abruptly, and his hands gripped her hips. Now, he urged her on. Setting the rhythm.

It had been years since she’d been with him this way, but her body had forgotten nothing, and apparently neither had his, because they writhed and arched against each other in a breathless harmony.

Kane broke the kiss and trailed his lips down the column of her neck, and she tilted back her head to give him better access. His grip on her hips eased as he slid his hand beneath her shirt, climbing her ribcage on a path to her aching breasts.

With a curse, she tugged the simple V-neck over her head and tossed it on the floor.

His eyes widened, but he didn’t miss a beat, unfastening the bra and pulling it away from her body. “Offer them to me,” he growled, and she was all too happy to comply. No sooner had she cupped her breasts, he had one nipple in his mouth.