Page 37 of Breaking Vincent

William holds his hand out to stop me, “He didn’t go into the details of what you did together. He told me that he failed to give you suitable aftercare. Months ago, when he came for his interview, we spoke about the kinds of stuff he’s into. Given that knowledge, I understand the scene you two did together wasn’t as tame as some of the other club members are used to.”

I take a few seconds to think about my next words, not wanting to get David in trouble with his boss. “He’s already apologised, multiple times for what happened and I’ve agreed to see him again. I don’t understand why he’s still beating himself up over it.”

“When you're in this lifestyle, things can go from zero to a hundred in a split second. No matter what the play is, rules and safety must be followed at all times. As a Dom I can understand why he’s struggling dealing with this. And I know you seem ok, but at that moment, you needed him to be there for you and he failed to do so.”

I look at his face, I can understand why Jamie is obsessed with the guy. He’s gorgeous and he must have heaps of patience. But the kind and loving Daddy is not what I want. I long for a master, and I have a feeling that person could be David.

Until he realises who I am.

I don’t know if he would even want to look at me when he discovers I’m the prick who loves winding him up whenever we cross paths.

“What do I do?”

“If you're interested in the guy and I don’t mean you’ve already fallen in love and you’re ready to fly off into the sunset together, but if you feel a connection to him then I would recommend seeing him again and having a conversation about what you both want. But if you don’t feel that spark, then I would recommend staying away from him.”

I watch William stand up and walk back into the house. My stomach swoops with an unknown emotion. I appreciate him coming to chat with me, but why do I feel like I’m the one who’s in trouble when I did nothing wrong?

Needing to get out of this house and away from everybody inside, I head back into the house and quickly say my goodbyes.

Jude watches me, confusion spread across his cute little face. “I’ll text you any of the last details for the collaring.”

By the time I get home I don’t feel any better about myself. I feel angry that David’s put me in this position, frustrated with myself because I feel bad for the guy because he’s clearly struggling.

But, it’s not my fault!

Grabbing my phone from my pocket, I pull up the chat between MasterL and I. Scrolling through all the messages that we’ve shared, all the late-night chats, the flirting, the pictures, and my fucking heart breaks.

Would he still laugh and flirt with me when he finds out who I am?

Fucking hell. We barely know each other, but something in my soul breaks a little at the thought of never seeing him again.

Maybe it’s for the best. Maybe I’m not actually meant to have a partner who shares the same desires. Maybe I’m just destined to be alone for the rest of my miserable life.

With the decision made, I deactivate my Voyeurism Fans account and delete the app from my phone.

It’s for the best, really. He deserves someone who actually knows what he’s doing. Not some fraud like me.

Chapter 16 –

David

The shit thing about getting ghosted, is not knowing the reason why.

I mean maybe I had a small inkling that the brat might not turn up at the club again for another scene with me. When I went to message him on Voyeurism Fans and found that his account no longer existed, it felt like a stab to the chest.

The thought that I had maybe fucked him up so much that he decided it was best to just delete his whole page makes me feel awful.

I’ve taken the past couple of days off work, considering I haven't used any of my holiday days, my boss didn’t have a problem with my request. Plus, I think he knows that I’m still suffering from guilt.

Truthfully, I’ve had a wide berth of emotions over the past few days. Switching between pity and then anger, and not only at myself. Frustration has been aimed at the brat for him leaving things between us the way they were. But then I think to myself,what did you expect? You were the one who messed upand he has every right to remove himself from the situation I caused.

After keeping myself hidden away in my apartment, I’m starting to feel stir crazy so I force myself to go out for a walk. Maybe the fresh air and sunshine will help my bitterness.

I walk out of my apartment building and let my feet lead the way. With no destination in mind, I find myself taking in the details of my surroundings. I live fairly close to the city centre, so it doesn’t take long before I’m passing the shops and looking in the windows. Since I do most of my shopping online, I can’t actually remember the last time I stepped foot inside a shop, except for the kink shops and supermarkets.

I pass by the florist and make a mental note to stop by on my way home. I’m not much of a flower guy, but the apartment would look nicer with a couple of potted plants. Maybe a spider plant or aloe vera, I hear they aren’t too difficult to keep alive.

I keep walking and come to a stop outside a tattoo shop. I’m not one for the alternative look, but maybe getting something poked or inked could be fun.