Page 17 of The Raven's Alpha

My mind wanders back to my past. Losing my family was like losing everything that mattered to me. It's hard to explain how much it hurt, but it's like my heart was ripped out of my chest. After that, I struggled to keep and maintain friendships. I never wanted to get too close to someone, only to have them ripped away from me. It's like I'm stuck in this perpetual state of fear, always expecting the worst.

There's something about Eddy that's different from anyone else. When I'm around him, I don't feel that same sense of impending doom that I do with others. It's like the universe and the Goddess have given me a reprieve from my fears, at least for now. With Eddy, I feel like I can trust that things will be different. Maybe it's because he's my fated mate, or maybe it's just because he's shown me that there's more to life than just surviving from one day to the next.

Either way, I have to trust that the universe and the Goddess wouldn't send me to meet my fated mate only to pull us apart after a short period of time. It's a scary thought, but with Eddy by my side, I feel like I can face whatever comes our way.

As I've navigated the complexities of being a twenty-eight-year-old omega and a virgin, I've spent countless hours poring over books, articles, and online forums about sex. I've devoured every resource I can find, eager to learn as much as I can about this mysterious and often misunderstood aspect of a romantic connection. But despite my extensive research, I never truly delved into the world of relationships – that is, until the day I met Eddy.

Something about our encounter sparked a curiosity within me, a desire to understand the intricacies of bonding and mating beyond the physical act itself. It was as if my research had been leading up tothis moment, preparing me to receive the wisdom and guidance that Eddy would bring into my life.

When I pored over the books in the library, I thought I had a good understanding of what fated mates were all about. The descriptions of intense connections and overwhelming emotions seemed to be the same across every book I read. And when I met Eddy, I was surprised to find that our connection was building quickly, just as the books had promised, at least on my side. But despite the initial rocky start, when I thought he already had a partner, that spark was still there.

I have to admit, it's a bit surreal to think that this connection might be real. It's like I'm living in a dream, and I'm not sure what the future holds. But what I do know is that I want to keep exploring this connection with Eddy, to see where it takes us and to build on the foundation we've already laid.

And then, of course, there was the matter of my raven. It was a strange thing when my raven started screaming'MINE'in my head. It's a primal response, one that's hard to ignore. And when I met Eddy, my raven went wild.

As I prepare for the possibility of mating with Eddy, I don’t feel like I need to do anything extra. My research suggested that my body would know what to do when the time came, so I don’t feel like I needed to spend hours preparing myself with dildos or other devices. Instead, I just focus on taking care of myself in my daily routine, like scrubbing my ass a bit more thoroughly during my regular shower routine.

It's funny, but I think that's actually been kind of liberating for me. Instead of worrying about how to prepare myself physically, I've been able to focus on building a connection with Eddy and getting to know him better. And who knows - maybe my body will surprise me and do something amazing when the time comes.

I have to admit that I'm a little curious about what will change - and what will stay the same. For the past ten or so years, I've spent my heats alone, and I've developed my own preferences and habits when it comes to sexual exploration. I've learned what I like and don't like, and I've gotten pretty good at taking care of myself. But with Eddy, it's like starting from scratch.

The more I think about mating, I can’t help but feel a flutter in my chest. I know we haven’t had any explicit conversations about sex, but I’m keeping my fingers and toes crossed for something to happen. And honestly, I don't mind if things take time. Twenty-eight years of waiting has taught me the value of patience.

But oh, the temptation is so strong! Eddy’s just so gorgeous, and I can’t help but imagine the way he'll look at me when he opens the door. My mind wanders to the possibility of him bending me over and taking what he wants, and I have to admit that the thought sends shivers down my spine.

I push the thought aside, reminding myself that I don’t have to rush into anything. But as I stand here under the steaming shower, my mind keeps drifting back to what could happen. Would he be gentle? Would he be rough? Would he take his time or dive right in? The questions swirl in my head, and I can’t help but feel a sense of excitement building inside me.

I can't help but notice that my dick is starting to perk up. With me being in a semi-hard and fully-slicked state for most of the day, I’m starting to feel a little pent up. I’m considering jerking off now, just to relieve the tension, before I get to the cabin, but after a moment's hesitation, I decided to prioritise my plan of leaving anything sexual up to Eddy and leave my solo self-love for another time. I wrap myself in a warm dressing-gown, feeling a bit more composed as I emerge from the bathroom.

I make sure to dry my long hair thoroughly, knowing that going out into the cold with sopping wet locks would be unbearable. Withmy hair finally dry and my dressing-gown securely wrapped around me, I feel a sense of calm wash over me.

Standing in front of the mirror, I can't help but gaze at myself, trying to see what Eddy might see when he looks at me. I don't mean to be arrogant, but I do think of myself as a good-looking man. I've never had that natural femininity that some of the omegas around town seem to possess, but I've always tried to make the most of my features.

I've got the body shape of a regular omega, but I've always felt like I carry myself in a way that's more... masculine. Maybe it's because I've always been a bit of a loner who didn’t really care what people thought about me, or maybe it's just because I've never felt like I fit into the traditional omega mould. Whatever the reason, I've always tried to own my own unique style and not compare myself to others.

As I look at myself, I feel a sense of pride and self-acceptance. Maybe Eddy sees something in me that I don't see in myself, and maybe that's what makes him so attracted to me. Whatever the reason, I'm just happy to be me.

I like the way I look and that’s good enough for me and from Eddy’s reactions, I think he likes me the way I am. If not, it’s tough-shit.

I’m sitting twiddling my thumbs, waiting for the clock to hit five pm, I can't help the excitement from coursing through me. I'm eager to get out of the mansion and make my way to the cabin.

Before I go, I take a moment to make sure everything is secure. I lock the door behind me, just in case, and then hide the key in the safe space I've designated. It's a habit I've developed over the years, and it's one that makes me feel more comfortable when I'm away from home.

I slam the lock box closed and I feel a rush of adrenaline as I shift into my raven form and soar through the air, hurtling towardsthe cabin. My raven is chattering away at a frenetic pace, his heart thrumming with excitement. I can sense his enthusiasm, and I'm thrilled to share in his joy, but it's hard to focus on the task at hand with his non-stop chatter in my head.

I try to tune him out, but it's no use – his constant yapping is making it difficult for me to concentrate on the route ahead. I'm normally attuned to my raven's thoughts, but today, he's being particularly chatty. Still, I wouldn't trade this moment for anything – the wind in my feathers, the late afternoon sun on my face, and the thrill of what’s to come coursing through my veins.

I land with a soft thud on the cabin's wooden porch, I let out a ragged breath as I shift back into my human form. My lungs burn from the rush of transformation, and I struggle to draw in enough oxygen. I've always been careful about where I shift, not wanting to risk being spotted by the curious local humans. But Eddy's cabin is a safe haven, tucked deep in the woods and surrounded by thick foliage. I know I'm alone here, and that's all that matters.

I glance through the window, hoping to catch a glimpse of Eddy's familiar figure, but the room appears to be empty. I frown, wondering if I've beaten him to the punch. Not wanting to freeze my butt off outside, I decide to take a chance and try the door. I'm relieved to find it unlocked, not surprising, given Eddy's laid-back nature. A twinge of guilt does tickle my conscience, but I'm convinced he won't mind.

I settle into the worn couch and wrap the soft blanket around my shoulders before letting out a contented sigh. I've tried to behave myself, not wanting to make myself too at home, but it's hard to resist the allure of Eddy's cosy cabin. I close my eyes, letting the familiar scent of my mate envelop me, and feel a pang of longing wash over me. It's only been a couple of hours since we parted ways, but I'm already missing him terribly. I wonder if he's thinking of me too, busy as he must be with the rush at the bakery. The thought of himsurrounded by the warm smell of freshly baked bread and the chatter of customers makes me miss him more.

The sound of tires crunching through the snow is music to my ears, and I can't help but feel a surge of anticipation build in my chest. My eyes are fixed on the front door, and I can practically count down the seconds until Eddy walks in. The silence is palpable, and I can almost hear the sound of my heart pounding in my ears. I'm so caught up in the excitement that I'm barely aware of the soft creaks and groans of the cabin floor.

The front door crashes open, and I'm jolted out of my relaxed state. I was expecting a gentle opening, or maybe a soft call of "hello", but instead Eddy bursts in with a look of disgust on his face. He's muttering to himself, something about being stupid and gross. My heart sinks as he starts to pull off his shoes, his movements jerky and agitated. I'm left frozen, unsure of what to do or say. The anticipation that had built up inside me just moments before has turned to unease and confusion. I don't recognize this person, this stranger who's walked into the cabin.

Fear creeps up my spine like a cold, dark mist, as I listen to Eddy's muttered words. I feel a knot forming in my stomach as I wonder what he could possibly be talking about. Is he disgusted by something I've done? Something I've said? I rack my brain, trying to think of anything that could have triggered this reaction. Did I forget something important? Did I make a mistake that's been bothering him? The possibilities swirl in my mind, each one making me feel more anxious and uncertain. My mind is racing, but I'm stuck in a loop of self-doubt and fear, unable to think clearly or make sense of what's happening.