Page 86 of Perfect Sin
“Good. I overheard some of what she said to you the last time you were here. Don’t get caught up with that one, not with a wife waiting for you at home.”
“I’d never cheat on my wife.”
“You should bring her by sometime,” he says.
I chuckle. “It’ll be a few years before that happens. She’s nineteen.”
Carlo whistles. “Settled down young, huh?”
“She’s the one,” I say simply.
“Well, when you know, you know. I’ve got soda on tap, bring her by and teach her how to play pool. I’d like to see who managed to capture you. I see a lot of hookups in here, very seldom do I see the real thing. Except for Shane and Jen.”
I actually smile at that statement. They are the only truly happy couple I’ve ever seen with my own eyes. Even the short glimpses of my own parents don’t compare to the two of them.
“Yeah, maybe,” I tell him.
Ford walks through the door and greets Carlo. “Beer please, Carlo. I’ve got to clear the air with this fuckhead. He thinks I’m after his woman.”
“Now I’ve really got to meet this girl,” Carlo quips and slides a bottle down the bar to Ford’s waiting hand. He pops the top off another longneck and sets it in front of me.
I head down the bar and take a seat next to Ford. I open my mouth, but Ford raises his hand, stopping me.
“I get it, so you don’t have to say it. When you showed up at the house, even saying we were cool, I knew this wasn’t done. So let’s have it out completely,” he says.
He takes a long drink from his bottle and sets it back on the counter. “I know it looked bad seeing Raven in my arms after class. Especially with everyone on campus spreading rumors she and I are hooking up. I think I’d have jumped to the same conclusions, but you’ve got to lock that shit down. Even if you don’t trust me, you can trust her. She loves you like I only hope I can find someday.”
“You say shit like that and it doesn’t put me at ease,” I grumble.
He doesn’t look bothered by my statement. “Shane got over the fact Jen and I dated, and we were together for six months before they got together. We got through that.”
“Are you in love with my wife?” I hate to ask, but I have to know.
He takes too long to answer. “I think under different circumstances I could have been. Am I currently in love with Raven?” He shakes his head. “No, I’m not going to lie to you and say I don’t love her. It isn’t like you think, though. She’s easy to love. I want the best for her, and it isn’t me.”
“If not thinking you were good enough for her kept someone from falling in love with her I wouldn’t be asking you this. We both know I’m not good enough for her.”
He picks at the label on his bottle. “That’s where you’re wrong. You are exactly who she needs. Everything broken in you matches what’s broken in her. Together you’re whole. You’ve got to accept that and trust it, because there’s always going to be some guy out there who sees her light and wants it for himself.”
“And you don’t?” What am I, trying to convince him he’s in love with my wife? I should punch myself in the face for being an insecure asshole.
“I absolutely do. And I have her exactly the way I want her. She’s my best friend in a way Shane never can be. I need her as my best friend.”
“That’s the thing. I think I need to be that for her,” I admit.
“Too damn bad,” he snaps. “She needs you to be more, so be fucking more.”
I let his words sink in as I guzzle my beer. Lucien’s words come back to me. “Lucien says I don’t understand you not being in love with her because I am. But the thing is, you’re the first guy she ever chose to be with.”
“We both know it should have been you, but it didn’t work out that way. I don’t know what you want me to say here. We were both bleeding that night. You and Tessa did that to us. If you want me to apologize for it, you’ll be waiting a fucking long time. I’m honored to be able to give that to her. To give her back her choice. I won’t dishonor her and say it was a mistake either. What Raven and I shared that night might have been spurred on by the two of you, but it has nothing to do with you at the same time.”
I don’t know what I expected him to say. “You aren’t convincing me you aren’t in love with my wife.”
“What if I was? Would it change how she feels about you? That’s what is really important. It doesn’t really matter what I feel, or anyone else that gets to know her. What’s truly important is how she feels about you. I can tell you a thousand times I’m not in love with her, but it shouldn't matter.”
“I hate it when you make sense. I shouldn’t have hit you.”
He clinks his bottle against mine. “I got you back. Besides, Shane did the same thing. I don’t understand love that doesn’t hurt.”