Page 20 of Southpaw Slots
Plus, I don’t want this to be it for us. Me and my wife.
If we fuck other people now, it just seems like that’s not building something for our future. My dad wouldn’t like it. And my mom would be disappointed. Maxi was right, and I hate that.
Just as I turn off some porn playing on the TV across from the bed, the doorknob to my bedroom rattles and I grip the sheet to pull it around my naked waist, not knowing who’s breaking in. Before I can snatch the gun off my nightstand, my wife peeks her head through the open space and spots me, her brown eyes big with worry.
“Oh. You’re still up,” she says quietly.
“Yeah. What’s going on?” My heart stops beating for a moment at the sight of her. What am I in trouble for now?
She scuttles in and shuts and locks the door behind her. I only get a glimpse of her silky pink negligee before she sprints full speed, then leaps onto the king-sized bed and slides under the covers. Staring at herwith my eyes wide, she pokes her head out from her cocoon, her dark hair covering the pillowcase. “Hi.”
“Arianna…what are you doing here?”
Smiling as sweetly as one would expect a harbinger of a hellhole to muster, she says, “I’m scared of sleeping alone. I don’t want to anymore. I have nightmares.”
She’safraid of being alone? Raising an eyebrow, I ask, “Are you being serious right now?”
With a flutter of her lashes, she looks down at our feet underneath the light blue duvet. I think it’s Ralph Lauren. When she brings those sunset eyes up to my face again, there’s a shaking in her countenance. A helplessness like she’s a little lost child trying to find her mother.
And suddenly, that place that we were in together when we kissed feels right at home in my own soul, like she’s a reflection of me. Just for a moment, I completely understand her.
“Yes,” she whispers.
There’s such a pull to comfort, to ease her concern, one that I recognize in myself, that I prop my arm behind her pillow and slide down into the bed with her. “Okay. You can stay.” Is it just as much for me as it is for her? Probably. And, if I’m honest, it has nothing to do with sex.
Then she wiggles, rocking her hips, the bed jarring from her little dance of victory.
My breathing halts as I realize…I’m in fucking trouble. Ithink this is the first woman able to make me fall to my knees, to manipulate me and, for once, I think I want her to. I think she could make me do whatever she wanted, and I’d be okay with it.
Reaching behind me, I turn off the lamp and lie on my back, gazing at the ceiling. Some weird warmth arises in my belly, like Iwantto take care of her, to give her what she needs. To soothe the angst inside of her because it would pacify my own. I want to love her.
And crush her skull in at the same time.
“What are your nightmares about?” My question stabs the silence like shattering glass.
“What?” she murmurs, her voice heavy with sleep.
“What are your nightmares about? Like spiders, or snakes, or getting chased? What?”
She rolls onto her side, tucking her pressed hands underneath a cheek and looking at me. “Um, bulls rushing to gore me.” And just when I think she’s done, she adds quietly, “And my mama and papa, Maxi.”
Nodding like she can see me, I stay silent, not exactly sure what to say. “Well, you’ll be safe in here. Definitely no bulls.” It’s the Day of the Raging Bull. She was probably just a tiny thing when it happened. I remember being so sad that my best friend had left me when I woke up the next day, not really able to understand the destruction that came to East Side. I just wanted Maxi back.
At some point, I hear her breathing even out, andthen I can finally relax enough to fall asleep, calmed by the fact that I’m not alone for another night.
Until screaming rips my eyes open with terror. It’s still dark. Sitting up in a panic, I rub a hand over my face, trying to figure out what’s happening. That’s when I see her struggling against the sheets, still asleep next to me.
I try to rouse her, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Arianna. Hey, empress. Wake up.”
It doesn’t work. She whimpers, crying, muttering unintelligible words through almost closed lips.
Wrapping my arms around her, I pull her onto my bare chest until she stirs, her dark hair tickling my nose. I’ve never smelled flowers like her, but that’s what she is. Some poisonous, delicate flower. Like a Venus flytrap. Her nails dig in at my neck, clinging to me before the moans cease and her perfect chin raises to gaze into my eyes, so scared that I press my lips to her forehead.
“It’s okay. I got you. You’re safe.”
Adjusting, she presses her full bosom onto my chest, the feel of her racing heartbeat reverberating through my bones. Her little pants on my skin change from rapid to steady, the movement of the tickling air against my pecs causing goosebumps to erupt all down my arms. Within another minute, she’s out again…while I hold her in my arms.
I’ve cuddled before, sure, but this feels weird. Like I shouldn’t be embracing my wife. We haven’t evenfucked, yet. And my penis is really confused about what to do now. Like, do I just stick it inside her? Do I jerk off onto her? I’m not sure. But somewhere in between the exhaustion and confusion, I fall back to sleep with her.