Page 30 of The Guru: Shadow

“But why search for this kind of danger then? Why not go for a drink or do drugs like everyone else? Why gamble with your life?” With it, he stopped her by grasping her arm.

“What do you care?”

“Don’t distract, answer my question.”

Something about the way he asked was strange. Typically, people asked and judged, but with him, it was different. In his voice was no reprimand, no judgment, only longing, peaked with curiosity.

“I am quite sure you know why, as you are pushing me for a certain answer,” she said dismissively, not in the mood for him to interrogate her.

“I want to hear it. Out loud. From your mouth.”

She paused, considered him for a moment and sighed.

Whatever.

“Control,” she said very silently.

The moment she said it, the corner of his mouth twitched.She could feel his peaked interest as an electrifying sensation in her body.

“But how is gambling your life giving you control?”

He knows. He already knows. Damn. And yet he played the game.

“I did not gamble,” she said with a scuff. “Because I knew you were following me.”

For a fraction of a second, delight shimmered with a flicker through his eyes, almost impossible to see, before they went back to their impassive darkness again.

“Good. Wasn’t so hard. Now come.”

That’s it?

No judgement?

No reprimand?

His reaction rooted her to the spot. She knew he was everything but typical, but this? Was this the darkness surrounding him? That he was getting off playing sexual assault? Or was it more?

They had reached the end of the park; there stood his car, the driver.

“Come.”

But she could only stare at him.

What do I have to lose, though?

Absentmindedly, she brushed over her lips, where she could still taste him, and the moment she did, his words resounded in her head.

‘You’ll do that again.’

I want to do that again. Make me feel more alive.

“Come with me,” he growled at her, pulling at her wrist.

“No.”

“Oh, you will, or do we need to repeat what just happened?”

And for some reason, the demanding tone made her angry. It was just the same with Chris. Come, do this. Do that. We go here. And there. And something in her snapped.