Page 47 of The Guru: Shadow

But instead of saying something and running, she just kept her mouth shut and bathed in her denial.

So much about my comfort zone, Julie.

They drove to Newark Airport, where she then found out they would be flying into Buffalo. Her extensive web search for an event in Buffalo did not get her any results, which was frustrating. It was almost as if something in the universe was punishing her, serving her the extra portion of the unknown.

However, the only quite amazing thing was that everything was paid for, and it threw her off her heels when she saw they were traveling first class.

An absolute first, literally. It impressed her on every level. How nice people were, how much space she had in the airplane, and the overall experience of it was much more comfortable than usual, which helped a lot in reducing the anxiety she had while traveling. Not that she did it much; she had been on a plane a handful of times, all of those had been horrible.

“Makes a difference, huh?” Julie said as she watched her taking in the first-class seat of the airplane.

“It does.”

“And this is only a domestic flight. Imagine what it could be like. That’s what I mean when I tell you there’s so much more to life – so much more you could reach. That intelligent brain of yours just needs to focus on something for once.”

And there it was again, the little pinches, giving her a constant reminder that she was less worthy, not belonging. It was true in the end. She did not belong; she didn’t even compare. Julie was successful beyond making more than $450k a year plus bonuses, while she served tables, tried more than unsuccessfully to write a book, and did some freelance work with many open spots as a side kick.

Julie loved agency work and as Julie was a master of persuasion, she had given it a try, too. The experience however had made her suicidal and more depressed than ever. Now, she would preferably be homeless before she’d do that again. It was horrific and it made it impossible for her to grasp how Julie could burn so much for her job. Never ending meetings, with way too much stress, constantly rolling heads, poor communications, and a lot of asshole clients, but whatever. Not herplace to judge.

The flight was short, and after a small delay, they landed after exactly 1 hour and 33 minutes. Staring at the number made her almost freak.

Why the hell is there always a 33 involved? It’s really freaking me out.

Googling, however, almost made her bite her phone.

‘33 is a powerful master angel number, standing for luck and spiritual enlightenment’

You got to be kidding me. Angel numbers? Seriously?

What a bullshit.

The slight breeze brushing over her face’s skin as she stepped outside the airport was quite chilly. After all, it was Buffalo, so what did she expect? An expensive-looking big black GMC SUV waited for them outside as they followed the driver welcoming them.

They drove for about half an hour.Niagara Falls.She read out the sign in her mind as they passed the city border. She had never seen the Niagara Falls, nor had she been much anywhere else. She grew up in a small and dull town in Michigan, and the first chance she got to get to Manhattan, she took it.

Her parents had never traveled with her; her father was away a lot and made it abundantly clear he did not care about her. And her mother never left the house whenever she could avoid it – which was always. Marie feared everything, from being run over by a truck, to falling, being attacked by a dog, and especially germs. Her fear had worsened year by year until she never left the house anymore, not even to get the trash outside. Since her Alzheimer’s diagnosis, however, she did not remember any of it.

So, she tried to see it as a good thing happening to her mother. However, her parents being what they were, she never went on a vacation anywhere. Not even to visit family in a different state. And since one school trip to Georgia and a week in Cali with Chris, she hadn’t seen anything else other than Manhattan and her hometown.

Now being in Niagara Falls was something cool, but also something way outof her safety zone at home. A slight panic pulsated through her chest.

Breathe. Am I getting like my mother? Scared of leaving the house?

This thought made her push through it. No way in hell she would become like her mother.

It’s going to be alright. Julie is here with you; it is only three days and today is almost over.

“Miss Regan, Miss Richardson, welcome,” a man in all black greeted them as they stepped out of the car into the entrance of the massive resort. “Service will set up your rooms. Please find yourself straight to the event center, you are awaited there. You are free to use the elevators or take the stairs over there, in case you feel like moving your legs after your journey.”

And while Julie answered, behaving as if she had been here a million times, she felt like being pushed around. In her, the dying wish to get to her room and charge her social battery from too much peopling.

“Em, come,” called Julie for her. Preoccupied with taking in the massiveness of the entry, she hadn’t quite noticed Julie already reached the elevators and held the door to one of them open.

When they reached the event center, it was super weird. Instantly, a feeling of regret spread in her; all the alarms in her told her to run. Julie, who must have seen it in her eyes, took her by the hand. “No running this time, Em.”

Fuck.

There stood about two handfuls of people, all wearing black special-forces-vibes-giving clothes. While everything was mostly dark, only a few dim lights lit certain areas where people dropped personal belongings into boxes. Overall, it gave her the feeling of checking into a prison. At least that’s what she imagined it to be like from all the movies she had watched.