Page 46 of The Guru: Shadow
It’s beenthree weeks now,she noted to herself, as November almost became December.
And a big chunk of her tried to persuade herself that she simply pulled a red card, and he had no further interest in her, like all the men who saw her true self, but there was also this warning voice, telling her that all of it was a tactic.
A hunter must be patient, and he is most definitely one.
Julie
Em, are you ready for the weekend?
Fuck.
She had completely forgotten about the weekend Julie had invited her to. All of her insides groaned in revulsion.
No, do I have to?
Julie
Yes, you have to, and you will. gonna be totally amazing!
Pick you up at 2 p.m friday
What do I need? Winter coat? Summer dress? Where are we even going? And how do we get there?
Upstate. Flying
Sth cozy and sth to dress up
Mostly inside, but take sth warm anyway
Just go with the flow. DON’T OVERTHINK IT!
‘Don’t overthink it.’ Of course I will. You are throwing me into the unknown and I am supposed to do what? Just roll with it? Surely not.
As Friday came, she had become a regrettable ball of crisis and overwhelm. Julie eventually stopped answering her inquiring messages while she still hadn’t heard or noticed anything from Deis. The level of uncertainty was on the verge of drowning her.
So, when Julie’s black BMW X5 rolled to a halt in front of the apartment building, she entered it with utmost self-loathing mixed with a mood-killing cocktail of reluctance and a bad foreboding feeling lingering in her stomach.
“Em, it’s gonna be good. You gotta step out of your comfort zone sometimes.”
Comfort zone the fuck. If only you knew how much out of my comfort zone I was in with your client.
“I am quite alright where I am.”
“No, you’re not. You’re in denial and constantly not finishing whatever you touch.”
“I’m fine with it.”
Okay, that was another lie.
But then, telling the truth would be an invasion into her deepest fears, so to lie it was.
“You’re not. Otherwise, there would’ve been no need for me to lend you money, so you don’t have to move out of the apartment.”
Julie was right. But acknowledging she was the one nothing worked out for? Definitely not happening. And she didn’t ask Julie to lend her money. She’d never ask for help, ever. Julie almost made her take the money after the night they talked about Chris and everything, because, reciting her words, she was sure if she’d lose her home, too, she would completely freak out. And maybe she would. Her new job at the diner, a couple of blocks from her apartment did not pay well, and definitely not enough to get a new apartment. The prices were mostly double if not triple of what she paid for her apartment right now, even for smaller ones. So, she had taken the money, promised to pay it back, unable to say how, when, and if. And now Julie was using it against her.
Wonderful.
There’s still time to turn around and leave.