Page 35 of Midnight Whispers
“Of course,” I nod. “Thank you again.”
I open the door and wave at them as they leave, turning to Flora as soon as the door is shut behind me. She runs her hands through her hair and releases the breath she must have been holding.
“What in theactualfuck?! Are you okay Lil?”
“I think so. We went through so much shit I don't feel sad,but I feel sad.” I sit down on the couch and put my face in my hands. “That doesn't make any sense, does it?”
“I think it makes perfect sense babe. Grief doesn't have to look a specific way. You can mourn however you see fit. Parker put you through a lot of shit.”
“Do I have a right to mourn him though? I broke up with him.”
“Absolutely you do. You guys dated most of your teenage years and well into adulthood. I mean you were going to get married eventually. We both know he was a total piece of shit.” I give her a look, and she shrugs. “I know it’s awful to speak ill of the dead and I’m sorry, but it’s true.”
“It’s still not nice.” I wasn’t even sure if I responded that out loud or not.
I had in fact given Parker most of my teen and adult life. He was the first person I shared a lot of things with, so lovehadto have been there at one point. The vision of him floating in the ocean once again flashes through my mind. Quickly, I closed my eyes in hopes to wipe the image from my thoughts.
I walk out of the living room in a fog.
“You want me to cook you something? Your skin looks like it’s gone, green babe.” Flora’s voice is thick with concern.
“Uhm. No, I think I'll just have some tea.”
“Lil, you should try to eat something, even if it’s little.” I nod and give a small smile. I know she won’t let up if I don’t just eat something.
Flo goes to the fridge and gets out the carton of eggs and sets them on the counter next to a bowl. One by one she cracks the eggs, and the sound of the shells cracking against the porcelain holds my attention as I zone out. She pours just a dash of heavy cream, seasons the contents with salt and pepper, before whisking everything together and pouring it into the skillet she put on the stove only moments prior. The egg mixture sizzles asit hits the hot cast iron. She adds chopped up bell peppers and onions and gives everything another stir to combine it. Before I knew it, I had a plate of steaming eggs in front of me.
“Thank you, Flo.”
“I'd do anything for you, Lil. I know you well enough to know you don't always take care of yourself. I willalwaysdo whatever I can to lessen your load. We're soulmates, remember?” She winks at me, turns and pours herself some coffee and sits in the stool next to me.
The silence hangs heavily between us, the tension so thick you couldeasilycut it with a knife. I know she will wait for me to break it, respecting the boundaries she believes I have established. Except the truth is… I don't know what to say. How could I possibly put into words how I’m feeling at this moment? On one hand, I’m sad that Parker is dead, but on the other, all I want to do is talk about Finn with my best friend.
I listen to the sound of the silverware clinking against the porcelain and the occasional tooth scraping against the metal fork, which would typically make my ears hurt but right now I can’t process anything at all.
We both come to the last bite or two of the food on our plates. I stand and look at her for confirmation that I can clear her plate off the counter, she nods, and I move them both to the sink. Her eyes are glued to me, burning a hole deep into my back as I rinse the remnants of the egg mixture off the plates and whatever she had used to prepare.
“Are we going to talk about it?” Flora scrunches her brow. “And I meanreallytalk about it?”
I turn the water off and turn around, resting my lower back against the counter. If I don’t continue this conversation, I know she will never drop it.
“I don’t think there's much to talk about, Flo. I’m not even sure how I feel about it right now. I’m sad, of course. I’m nostranger to losing someone, but he wasn’tmineto lose anymore.”
She arches her brow. “Well, I won't push you,” Flora offers. “I’m here though, when thereissomething, you want to talk about.”
My stomach flipped in anticipation of what I knew I was going to say next. “Would it be incredibly tacky if I talked to you about the man I met?”
“A man you say!?” She practically jumps to her feet. “Please. Do tell.”
“I don’t know a lot, yet. His name is Finn. He and his,erm…”—Shoot what do I say?—“cousin live in that house on the top of the hill.”
”Ohhhh. So, they're rich,rich.”She wiggles her eyebrows.
“I mean, I guess so. He’s coming over tonight, so when he knocks,pleasebe nice.”
Flora squeals. “You’re going to have a gentleman caller, Lillia Jane Alcott?!” I cringe at the use of my full name.
“Why do you have to make it sound soformal?” I groan.